Ida Farr’s Journal 1872 (transcription)

Ida L. Farr’s Journal, Goshen, Sullivan County, N. H.

Goshen. September 29th 1872

Two years ago I commenced a journal in an old book I had used for writing parsing and most everything else in, but after keeping it for about two months I gave it up, because it was not what I wanted, but this one I purchased particularly for this purpose, and this only; and in it I’m determined to keep a true account of my daily joys, sorrows, trials, perplexities etc.

I had thought of waiting & commencing it my eighteenth birthday; but I wanted some of my life at home recorded in the pages. I often wish I had a journal of the last six years, the years I’ve lived with Oren & Nellie.

Six years ago the 12th day of this month we left Germantown, Mother, Mina, Sarah, Elmer and I, sent away by our Father, that he might live with Mrs. K___r, alone, arrived at Oren’s the 13th day. Elmer & I have had a happy, happy home ever since.

During those years what has happened?

Mina is married, and has two children. Sister Alice in New Jersey has had two more, making four in all. Sarah has been engaged, but the young man has been released from his engagement, and well it is for her1 for she would have led a miserable life. Aunt Leurinda, & Aunt Almina, Uncle Hial, my great-Uncle Ezekiel, Aunt Milly, Uncle Thatcher and Aunt Polly Gunnison have been laid away in the silent grave.

Dear sister Nellie was brought very near the grave five years ago, and again this last spring was very low; but Our Heavenly Father has restored her to her usual health. 

Elmer has become a Christian, and member of the Baptist Church, so we are now a Christian, Baptist band. Nellies brother & sister are too; and last but by no means the least of the events, little darling Edie was born, Nellies little daughter, the 12th of last December, first two weeks before I was seventeen years old.

O, she is such a darling, light, fair skin, with a peach like bloom,  blue eyes, light hair, and the sweetest little dimple; and so cunning and winsome; how can I thank Lord enough for her, and all my other blessings!

Elmer and I went to meeting this morning at the Corner; Mr. Bragdon’s sermon was on the divinity of Christ; afternoon attended the funeral of Mrs. Virgil Chase at the River.

After supper things were cleared away took care of Edie, while Nellie went out to get a [indistinguishable] air.

Monday, Sept. 30

This morning, I got breakfast as is usual, did not stop to do the dishes, but went to [washing(?)] as it was [indistinguishable] late to Nellie if she would do them; it was half past nine when I [indistinguishable] washing, got through, and all the things put away by five. I do not like to be [all (?)] day, but we didn’t get up very early, and Oren & Elmer stopped to [shoot (?)] two grey squirrels after breakfast was ready; and besides all that, I [indistinguishable] it seems as though I never should learn to be spry; but I do the best I can, had [indistinguishable] dozen pieces.

Sister Nellie says if she had known her·health would have been so poor, before she married she never would have done it,

She has worked too hard, as her health is, besides her housework, having company a good deal, during the first years of her married life she worked outdoors a good deal, overworked, and completely ruined her health which was never good.

She has been a good, good mother to me, watched over, guided & trained me into health and knowledge. oh! how thankful I should be for my blessings. I am very healthy, Nellie says she doesn’t know of so healthy a girl, and I mean to be careful, and always keep so; it is my duty, to God, myself, and fellow beings.

This eve, mended Nellies paper holder.

Elmer Tandy is staying with Elmer he came over to get his hair cut.

Little Edie went to sleep today sitting up in her wagon, holding on to the side of it, she looked so sweet and cunning; she is the dearest little thing I ever saw.

Oren & Elmer have been gathering apples.

Tuesday Eve. Oct. 1st

This forenoon baked & washed Granpa’s floor, and the kitchen, afternoon, finished washing floors; took care of Edie, helped Nellie put my quilt into the frame, and got supper.

This eve Elmer and I went to the prayer meeting, held at Mr. Nathaniel Cofran’s, and what a meeting it was! it was so cold and lifeless. 14 there, six Christian women & girls. Mrs. Ophelia Baker, Mrs. N. (S.?) Cofran, Mrs. Jane Cofran, Mrs. Pearce, Jane Nelson & myself.

Cristian men, Mr. Bragdon, Mr. Cofran, Hial Nelson, Johnny Cofran & Elmer besides Attie & Emily Marshall, and Barzilla Cofran not Christians, and only three took part in the meeting, all men too. I wanted to take some part, but there were five so much older women, it didn’t seem my place to go first. But was it right that is the question that haunts me, ought I to have let that stop me, keep me from doing my duty? no, I hardly think it ought. When I told darling Nellie, she said, “afraid of the face of clay,” I said no it didn’t seem hardly my place to go first; but I’m afraid there was some fear of the face of clay.

Mr. Bragdon said he wished we could have these meetings what they are called “social prayer meetings”, instead of being so formal and precise; we can talk easy enough in a worldly meeting, but when religion is turned upon as a subject of conversation, we draw into our shell, do not speak of it enough to each other to have our thoughts and run easily and naturally in that direction; it is so with me. I can not speak easily, and frankly of that which is so dear and sacred to me. I wish I could.

Wednesday, Oct, 2nd

It is so late I can not stop to write much; but I must write one thing to remind me I’m not quite an “angel”. This morning when Nellie was ironing and I churning we said something about our school, and then spoke of my doing the washing this winter (as I intend doing, Nellie’s health is so poor), and she said it did not seem to come right, either Saturdays, or Monday’s, but I should have to do it Tuesdays, or Wednesdays. We haven’t enough underclothing to change them Saturday, and have fresh ones to put on Sunday. When she spoke ·of those days, I thought how in ten weeks, staying out one day each week, it would make two weeks I should lose, and the tears came to my eyes; just then Nellie stopped saying what she was, and said “Why Ida!” [“]What is it?[”] I said rather quick and cross, for I was ashamed & provoked to think she saw my eyes; She said, “what are those tears?”

[“]I can’t help them coming so far,[”] I answered, [“]but can keep them from coming farther.[”] “You will have to learn[,”] she said mildly, [“]that is no way to fight the battles of life”.

I know it, and wish I could control myself better, both tongue and tears, I think I do a little better than I used to, but very poorly yet. I must try, try hard, seek Divine help.

Afternoon we worked on the quilt, or Nellie did all the afternoon, and I did some and then gathered flower seeds, it is so cold we are afraid of a heavy frost.

After supper gathered tomatoes, and strung apples while Nellie cored.

Little Edie hasn’t felt as well today, her teeth, and bowels, troubling her, but still she was very, very good.

Thursday, Oct 3rd

Oren started for Weathersfield this morn.

Nellie & I worked on apples, and Elmer boiled swill. Afternoon quilted.

Lorenzo Chamberlin spent part of the afternoon with us; he brought Edie a rattle his Aunt Sarah Leverence sent her, she likes it very much. He helped quilt, made it go nicely at the· last though at first was rather awkward, working without a thimble and taking rather long stitches at the beginning; he never tried to before; he kept Nellie & I laughing so the first part we couldn’t do much.

Commenced a letter to Eva this evening. Edie hasn’t felt very well today.

Frost last night, but very slight, rainy tonight, and was part of the day.

Friday, October 4th

Nellie quilted the greater part of the day, not doing any housework.

I did the housework; washed the wool this forenoon, afternoon·, helped Nellie quilt this afternoon, Elmer Tandy came to stay with Elmer. Little Edie said Ida for the first time yesterday; says it very plain. 

Saturday, Oct.5th

Oren didn’t get home from Vt. until 12 1/2 o’clock, so we didn’t get up very early this morning, and as a consequence work was behind hand. I baked and did the chores and Nellie mended this forenoon, afternoon, mopped the kitchen floor and then sat down to quilting with Nellie, after having put Edie to bed.

Hadn’t quilted but a little while when Attie Marshall came to bring my algebra home.

I was ashamed to go out to see her for I was so dirty, I had on my old, dirty dress, muddy in front where Kate kicked me, and a very soiled collar. I expected to go to the River tonight, and as we were in a hurry about quilting I thought I wouldn’t change it till then; oh! wasn’t I ashamed though, I don’t believe I will go so another time; I hope it has learned me a lesson. I shan’t forget in a hurry.

I am very much inclined to be careless and negligent about my clothes and everything else, always getting things out of place, or leaving them in a slovenly manner; I must take more care, not be so heedless & careless, not always in such a hurry.

I am so slow, that I never get the work done quick enough to suit me, so am always too much in a hurry, and still not accomplishing much either, leaving things out of place, taking more time to put them back or hunt, or clean up than ‘twould

to do it right in the first place.

Attie always looks neat and pretty, she is a very nice girl, we like her very much.

Evening finished my letter to Eva. Nellie made her a new table cloth tonight.

Oren told me I should have to be getting those things, from that we went to my going to school to New London another fall, the clothes I should want, & Nellie told me how she had to go when she went there, and the girls snubbed her because she was poor and dressed so poorly, &c &c. She had to dress pretty poorly, and the girls treated her awfully, jamming her bonnet all up for one thing.

I expect they will snub and treat me some so, although I shall be older and so will not mind it as much, and will also be dressed better.

October 6th

Oren, Elmer and I went to meeting. Mr. Bragdons sermon this morn was on the “Family Worship”, duty, privilege, benefits derived from it, and mode and time of carrying it on.

Afternoon text, “Hold fast that which thou hast that no man take thy crown.”

He said there was no standing still in the Christian life, we must either go forward or back. If we had anything very valuable, we should watch, and guard it very closely, if there was danger of its being stolen; so should we our faith, our life, carr[y]ing our religion with us into everything, casting it not off for an instant, ever striving for the salvation of souls, glory of God, growth in grace, that no man take our crowns. If there are persons whose salvation we wish, work, pray for it, that that soul may be as a star in our crown of rejoicing. We didn’t any of us go this eve. Nellie read a sermon from “Jay’ s Evening Exercises”.

Had a letter from Annie Richards.

Wednesday, Oct. 9th

So far this week have been very busy, seeing to the tomatoes. Monday washed & Nellie made apple jelly, eve, we all worked on apples.

Yesterday, Nellie canned one can of pears and put two, two[-]gallon jugs full of tomatoes, and three small bottles. We have now 27 qts of tomatoes canned for winter use, six 2[-]qt cans of blueberries and 1 two[-]qt can of pears, besides tomato sweet pickle, apple jelly, cucumber pickles & apples to fix any way, & Nellie has not yet made her jam, or citron preserves.

Today I baked, and washed floors while Nellie made her sweet pickle, and fixed her cucumber pickles. I made the wheat bread and buns yesterday, made the crust to 3 pies of indian & graham. This eve. Oren & Elmer husked, and Nellie & I mended. Oren has been gathering apples today. Day very  pleasant.

I took part of my supper in my hands and run out doors, it was so pleasant to get a little fresh air, and look off onto the hills, they are beautiful.

Friday Oct.11th

It was very cold last night, and has been today, the hard frost killed a good many of our flowers last night.

Nellie has finished my quilt, she has quilted all day, & I have done the housework and seen to Edie. 1 tried to clean a little today, but we had hominy for dinner so I had to stir that every three minutes this forenoon, and didn’t get to cleaning at any rate till 10 1/2 o’clock, and then this afternoon, there were dishes, sweeping, Edie to see to, supper to get &c, &c, so I only got the front entry, two doors in the kitchen, and two in Nellie’s room cleaned. I wish I could do more, but I’m such a slow poke I can’t do anything in only about twice the time others would, and here Nellie has worked so, she is in very hard pain tonight, and all for me. I do wish I could help her more. I hope little Edie if she lives will be more of a help and comfort to Nellie than I’ve been.

Oren and Elmer have been picking apples today. Elmer is pretty lame and used up. Dear brother, I don’t believe there are many like him.

October 16th

We moved the stove in this morning, so it was late before we had breakfast, and everything lagged, washed the kitchen floor while Nellie picked over wool, also cleaned a little in the pantry, afternoon, after doing the chores and combing Nellie’s hair, I went out and helped Oren & Elmer gather apples. Nellie is most sick, with head and teethache, is sick all over, the effects of going to Mrs. Chamberlins, and Chandlers last Monday afternoon and eve, Hailed and rained this afternoon. Orrie is here, his mother is to Mrs C’s sick.

Friday, November 1st

We are living in Nellie’s room now, for Oren painted the kitchen floor last Saturday. I shall most hate to go back, it is so cosy.

It rained very hard last Sunday Eve, so we did not go to meeting; we read aloud, the book “Opposite Neighbor”, finished it Monday eve, while Oren finished painting, it is very good indeed. Last night I finished the “Old Reed House”, that is also very good, it teaches us to test our actions by the Bible, to live by that, it is very good, these two books are home books, that will do any good to read them.

I made some pumpkin pies this afternoon, and sewed on my chemise. Oren went to Newport with some apples, although it was a  some rainy. Elmer has gone to spend the night with Elmer Tandy. Nellie has made some high aprons for Edie, and put them on yesterday.

Nov. 13th

School commenced a week ago last Monday. We like our teacher real well. Eva Gilmon is her name. I staid home yesterday to do the washing. Today the teacher told the scholars, if they were idle, she had some work for them to do, which is 800 pieces of paper for them to pick up.

Last Sunday I taught my little class for the first time.

Nov. 17th

We walked to meeting this morning, it was to the River, we had a good number out. Mr. Bragdon preached very well, this morning, on “every man’s work being tried by fire, afternoon denying ourselves, taking up our cross daily and following him.” O, if I could follow Christ more closely, I want to trust him fully, and live as he wishes to have me. Here is my class, all under nine, from four to nine years of age to interest and instruct. I fear I shall fall short, oh! how much strength and wisdom I need to keep them interested, and each Sabbath, teach them some lesson. I love the children and long to tell them of Jesus and lead them to him. This evening, we finished “At Lion’s Mouth”, which we have been reading out loud, and I looked at “Sunny Side” it is real good, it is about a ministers family, Nellie is reading “Faith White’s Letter Book”, and Oren getting out the next “Concert exercise”.

Home Nov. 24th

Oren and I went to meeting today, Deacon Lear was our minister, as Mr. Bragdon has gone to his home in Maine. He talked very well this afternoon from 2nd Peter l Chapter, fifth to eighth verse, adding to faith virtue and virtue knowledge, &c and although presented in a quaint homely way, it contained excellent truths which I hope we shall remember. There were three in my little class. O Father help me each Sabbath to tell them some truth which they will remember.

This eve. I have read some in “Faith White’s Letter Book.[“] I like it very much, and looked out my next Sabbath’s lesson.

Darling Nellie is feeling very miserable tonight and has all the week. She must let me stay home tomorrow, whether I wash or not. I ought not to go at all, and wouldn’t if Nellie would let me stay home, but she wants me to go to school, and will not let me do as though I was her own child, but my duty is to her no matter what anyone says, and it is not duty when she is sick to go and leave her all the work and sewing to do.

Thanksgiving Eve. Nov. 28th

I haven’t been to school any this week. I stayed at home so as to wash Monday, and Tuesday forenoon to wash floors, for Nellie was so bad Oren nor I dared to let her, and she thought a day and a half would not hardly pay to go this week and I was glad of it, because we expect mother and Sarah tomorrow and there is so much to do. So this week I am home, and it seems real good, for it is where I ought to be. Tuesday afternoon ironed while Nellie mended her dress, yesterday we baked and cleaned the pantry; today I washed again, so as not to

as large a one when Mother is here next Monday, besides there were some things we had to have, afternoon washed the floors. How much we have got to be

thankful for this eve, our Edie darling a sweet, sweet blessing we did not have last Thanksgiving eve, my precious Nellie, still spared when we feared last Spring we were going to lose her, oh, how my heart rebelled at the thought, my daily cry was, “take this cup from me, I cannot, oh, I cannot give her up[“] but my Father spared her to us. We have all been spared, all of our dearest friends, some have been brought to Christ during that time, my darling brother Elmer among the number, and so many more blessings I cannot count them. May the blessings of this year teach me to trust my Heavenly Father more the year to come. This evening played “checkers” and “fox and geese” with Elmer. Oren and Nellie are playing checkers now, first they ever did it.

Sunday, December 8th

We did not any of us go to meeting it was so very stormy and rough, so we have had a Sabbath at home. Sarah and mother are both with us, Elmer and I went after her last evening, and Uncle Almon brought Mother home. Little Edie has been very good as she always is. I finished “Faith White’s Letter Book”, this afternoon; it brings so vividly to the mind the sorrows and sufferings of the Pilgrims, so different from reading just the bare history, without any home scenes,

Where she is writing to “My Cariad” it makes me almost think I will write the same as to some one, instead of you my journal, but I could not write as she does.

Sunday 29th

Oren, Elmer and I went to meeting today, the sermon this morn, was a gospel temperance sermon, nearly every word of it being from the Bible, texts favoring use of it, prohibiting, blessings to total abstainers, woe pronounced on drunkards; a few extracts from ancient writer, and modern travellers, showing that the wine then used was not like that at the present time. This afternoon, fleetness of time and shortness of life, causing us to look back over the past year, to see what we’ve done, wherein erred, what we received in blessings from God that we may spend the coming year more to God’s glory. Oh, that I might live this year to him; I almost dread the coming year, I am now eighteen, about to leave this dear home, where I have been guarded and guided, to act for myself, act for myself, oh, solemn thought, and how shall my part be performed! oh My Father, help Thou me, guide Thou me into all truth, be Thou my shield and buckler, then shall I not be moved, but go on my way, rejoicing and trusting in Thee. If Nellie should not be well as usual, and needed me of course I should stay at home, but God knows my future and will direct my path.

Sometimes I almost wish I were only 16. I feel so weak and insufficient, but no I am glad I am 18 for now I can support myself with God’s blessing instead of burdening Oren, although they never called me a burden.

Sunday 19th 1873

The first time I write in 1873. It always seems odd, to change the date from one year to another; but time passes away.

Today remained at home with Nellie, the going is such we could not go with the team, and it was too rough for me to walk.

I was sorry not to be with my class.

Read “Elsie Tole” or “Grow in Grace”, it is very good, showing the necessity of the Christian growing in grace we should do it because it is a command, we owe it to ourselves, to others, plants grow and bear fruit, springs rise higher and higher till they overflow, and keep on flowing; the Sun is not content to simply rise, and give the morning light, but must also give the noonday light and heat. The motto of the world is “Onward”, and so must it be of the Christian. We must grow in Grace and in the Knowledge of his truth; we must yield fruit, leaves will not satisfy our Savior, oh may it not be said of me at the last day, although it is true of me at the present, “Nothing but leaves,the Spirit grieves,

Over a wasted life

O’er sin committed, while conscience slept,

Promises made but never kept

Folly and shame and strife

Nothing but leaves, Nothing but leaves”.

I must grow, I am going backward, it can only be done by reading God’s word, prayer, and watchfulness, keeping God’s Day holy and inviolate, religious reading &c. I must, I will, read the Bible more, and engage more earnestly in prayer. o, Father help me.

One week ago tonight Death came very near our door. Nellie was taken with palpitations of the heart, and for half an hour it seemed as though she could not live; she has not fully recovered from it and again tonight it is  threatening, O, it can not be, that again tonight she must endure such agony; she has the palpitation very often but never of as long duration. O, Father, I cry, cut her not off, we can not spare her, darling Elmer and Edie need her for years to come; Take this cup from me, let me die instead, Take her not O, my Father, all things are possible with Thee, Thou raised her once as from the dead, in answer to prayer, Answer now for thy dear Son’s sake, Amen. I can not say “thy will be done”, unless his will be mine, though she does and ever must suffer severe pain.

Feb. 2nd

Two weeks have again passed away since I wrote to you my friend, and again it brings me to Sabbath Eve, resting down upon us cold and clear. Two weeks have passed, ½ pain and pleasure mingled. Nellie is not as well as when I last wrote, it seems to be a settled disease of the heart, for which the doctor books she has consulted say there is no hope, but still I hope there is, it seems as though there must be, she is not able to do any work but knitting, that she says she must do, to occupy her attention. It makes me feel dissatisfied with myself when I see how little I accomplish during a day, and wish I was as smart as Sarah for there is so much serving to be done, but it is wrong, it is reproaching my Maker for making me so, but I must cultivate what I have.

I read the 12th chapter of 1 Corinthians this eve, and felt reproved, as I have before in reading that chapter, for all have not the same office, though being members of the same body.

Nellie read to me Pollok’s idea of the last day, or resurrection, from “The Course of Time”, never before had I realized the awfulness, solemnity, and grandeur of that day as much as when the read that, to think it should come so suddenly, “as a thief in the night”, when we would be changed “in the twinkling of an eye”, the sick made well, old made young, see the dead rising from the ground around us, the earth dissolving away, Our Savior, in the air with his chariots, the sound of the trumpets, the wail of the agonized people. O, who can conceive the awfulness of that day. How important we should be ready, for we know not when it may come, we shall be attending to our ordinary business, whatever it may be when lo the trumpet sounds, and then if we are ready to be received to Him, and dwell with him forever, forever, through all eternity. I can not realize it. Eternity.

Read my S.S. Book after Oren & Elmer got home, it is “Hattie Powers”, or “The daughter’s mission”, it is very good indeed. God blessed her efforts at last in the conversion of her drunken father, some parts come deeply home to me, for although I’m not a drunkards daughter, it is something worse.

Edie is advancing rapidly, is now so she can stand alone for quite a while; and yesterday and today, pulled herself up by side of the house, had not stood alone for more than a second till this last week. She is a precious little treasure, says O, no, no, no, O, dont, dont, Happy day, boo for book, besides all of our names. 

Wednesday, Feb. 11th

Washed today, as it was warmer. Nellie is not as well today as yesterday, her heart troubling her more, and almost a suffocating feeling, besides her other troubles growing no better. Dr. Jackson’s book, “How to treat the sick without [Medicine]” came last Thursday, and my tract, American Costume. Wrote to Alice last Eve. Sarah came home with us from the temperance lecture last Saturday, night, went back Sunday.

Sunday Eve, Feb. 23rd

Since last I wrote in this, two weeks ago, Nellie has been taken worse, so that she is now Confined to her bed, a week ago last Friday she was taken with chills, palpitation, and sharp pain through her heart.

Dr. Sanborn came Saturday, he said she had not the heart disease, he is to come again tomorrow. That Friday whenever I carried little Edie to her, or she heard her calling Mamma, it brought the tears, the thought coming, that she was not to be spared to her. For four days, five days tis though she has not been able to sit up, yesterday was weaker than she has been at all, some better to day, though not able to sit up in bed or take medicine or gruel, except through a straw. Oren, Sarah, & I lifted her from the lounge to the bed, after the bed was made to night. Edie has adopted me for mamma, calling me that, and clinging to me as to her mamma. She is a blessing. Alvin Young came up to see how Nellie is. It stormed day before yesterday very hard, and yesterday and to day has blown very hard, so the snow is terribly drifted, some of the drifts being from 4 to 7 ½ ft in depth. Edie took one step alone last night, quite a number to day.

March 28th

Nellie was worse last week and the first of this Monday we had another such spell, as the Sunday night before taken sick, which in her weakened state left her very weak. Tuesday noon, she had an awful time nearly strangled to death. Oren’s side gave out Tuesday so could not do anything for two days. Viola watched with Nellie Tuesday night, Mariette Nelson Wednesday eve. Mariette worked here from Sunday eve to Tuesday A.M. Dr. Brown came down Wednesday & yesterday. Nellie likes him very much, besides being a good doctor he is very genial. Nellie has rested nicely for three nights, spite of all her disease, mumps into the bargain. Grandpa has a very hard cold, Edie’s cold is better, and mine too, but my stomach has troubled me for three days very much, especially to day, but I will not tell Nellie yet; hoping it will get better.

Mrs. Chamberlin has been with us since Tuesday night. Lorenzo got her today. She has helped me about mending a lot.

Lorenzo and Mary Mummery were married the 25th. Eva Hatch married Mr. Marshall of Chester. The sixth of Feb. was their wedding day.

 April 24th, Saturday Eve

Mrs. Powers came here to day, and stayed until after tea. Nellie was taken worse this afternoon, such pain in her bowels, it seemed as though she could not stand it, but she was so patient. Folks that come in realize not how sick she is, she acts so pleased to see them, tries to make their call pleasant, and is so patient not murmuring a mite, that they do not think she is in severe pain at the time, and has to suffer for it afterwards.

Dr. Brown came Thursday and performed an operation, is coming again Wednesday next.

God grant the means may be blessed, and Nellie restore to health for “God is Nellie’s refuge and strength, a very present help in time of trouble”. O, that I were a better Christian.

Oren tapped the sugar place (?) 3 weeks ago, last Friday, has about 300 trees tapped although only 75 for the first week, have made about 230 lbs.

Nettie Colby has been here for 3 weeks helping me, doing light chores, she is in her fourteenth year but a very dull scholar, very simple and child like, amusing us very much by her speeches. Nellie asked her one day where her cousin Otis Stannels was, she said, He did work at Newport, but he was married now, and she  guessed he lived with his wife. Again one day, I was telling her my Grandmothers were both dead, Grandmother Farr died 12 years ago, she said, [“]Why was Gran’ sir ever married?[”] Yes, I told her; “Well he never had any children” she said. He would be Grandpa much if he hadn’t. Friday, she said it seemed as though her mother was here day after yesterday (day before) also wanted to know if I should sugar off twice yesterday, meaning morrow. I like her well, although quite easy to take offense.

Edie darling has got quite well again. I have taken care of her nights for four weeks, for four nights she has slept very well indeed not disturbing more than once all night and some night not at all.

Sunday, Apr. 27th

None of us have been to meeting, Elmer’s foot is so now he can not wear his boot so could not go, and I dared not leave Nellie feeling so much worse. I have bathed her head all day after I combed her hair about 10 ½ o’clock till half past four, her heart beat so fast sending the blood throbbing and surging through her head. Oren laid down this afternoon for two hours nearly, his rest was so broken last night — not sleeping at all till nearly three this morn.

Edie is improving in walking and talking rapidly, her being sick weakened her so it put her way back, but today she has walked alone a good deal, going alone of her own accord, so if she isn’t sick she will soon run everywhere. She is a real mimic, tries to say ‘most everything I do. Papa, outdoor; up bar; Hea’ ha’ (Fleate horse), ope[n] door, and a lot more. I love her dearly. When she wakes up, she sits up in her crib and calls [“]Ida, Ida.[”]

We had a letter from Father last Wednesday. He was at Alice’s suffering with boils, 15 on his left leg one a carbuncle. Oh that he might now reflect on his course and see.

July 8th

Again I am writing to you my long neglected journal many things have happened since last I wrote. Nellie has been a good deal worse, and a good deal better, has been gaining for five weeks nicely. I get her up in her chair or on the lounge twice a day. God is going to answer our prayers, and raise her up I think.

Edie is full of fun and mischief, she runs out doors every chance she can get; is real good. Aunt Louisa says she never was in the house with so good a baby. 

I have been baking today. Mr. Pay? called this afternoon. Kind of rainy this afternoon.

July 9th

Ironed and starched fine things to be ironed tomorrow, made apple sauce & wheat bread, besides usual chores, made a bouquet for Nellie’s room tomorrow. Nellie is full as well. Nettie Colby, Martha Baker, & Frankie Johnson came up from school this noon.

Thursday July 17th

We got up rather late this morning, so my work has been all behind or was this morning. It took me all the forenoon to get my shores done and get dinner. It was the day for Dr. Brown to come, but it has rained all day so he didn’t come. This afternoon made the points for Edie’s apron, what time I had. 

Nellie says she wishes I would rack my brain and think of something to get for her and not have Oren have to do it all. I know it is wrong, but what shall l get, my 6 Cariad? everything I suggest meets with disapproval. I have ransacked all our cook books for something new which she would like, but all in vain; however, I’ll try my best tomorrow.

Finished my letter this evening which I commenced to Sarah, Tuesday afternoon.

Tuesday, there was a celebration over to the corner, of Mr John M’Crillis, aged 100 years. 100. 15th day of July.

Friday, July 18th

This morning puttered around about my chores, Joel Powers came this forenoon, afternoon, after doing dishes etc. worked on Edie’s apron from three till half past four, only when I had to see to Edie & others.

Mr & Mrs Chamberlin came about four, stayed till after tea. Day rainy.

I have been impatient & slack as usual, ‘

Saturday, 19th

Washed floors and baked this morn, afternoon, did dishes, & picked up around. Evening carried Orrie to the River, and went to the Temple with Elmer.

Sunday, 20th

Elmer & I went to meeting. Mr Bragdon preached. Text in morn. John XIV, 15. “If ye love me keep my commandments.” Afternoon, Transfiguration, death, and resurrection of Christ, & institution of Lords Supper, after which was the Cong. Communion.

Dr Brown came this noon. Nellie is better today, or rather tonight; was feeling badly this morn. Day very pleasant.

Sunday Morn. 27th

I have been so busy this last week I have had no chance to write, Mr. Bragdon called Monday afternoon, stayed till after tea.

Mrs McLaughlin & Carrie called after tea.

Viola & Attie Marshall came Wednesday eve, and remained till Thursday Eve. I enjoyed this visit very much, Freddie was with them; he and Edie got along considerably well, but if Fred struck or touched Edie very much she would cry, being afraid of him. It took most of my time to keep peace between the “Roses”. Dr Brown and his wife came yesterday, I was in the top of one of the cherry trees, by the shed, when they came.

After dinner Mrs Brown and I went out to pick cherries, where we were joined soon after by Viola who came in the afternoon, then Dr Brown came, and after awhile they all, except Aunt Louisa who stayed with Edie & Nellie. I like Mrs Brown very much, I has a very pleasant time.

Nellie has gained very nicely this past week. The Dr & Oren raised her on her feet yesterday and by their supporting her some she took three steps; she sat up on the lounge for some little time. Oh, it does seem so good, and it will seem still “gooder” , when she can come into the kitchen & eat with us. We are a happy, thankful family, thankful that our darling is being brought back to us.

Edie keeps improving in talking; she is such a darling treasure!

I must tell you dear journal, before I forget it, of a proposal of marriage I heard the other day. I was in the parlor arranging the whatnot; when Mr M____ came out to the entry door. Mrs C____ followed very soon. (She knew I was there and cast a roguish glance at me through the open door; He did not know I was there being almost blind.) when the following conversation took place.

Mr M. How long are you going to stay here? 

Mrs C. All summer, I expect.

Mr M. I guess you had better, come keep house for me.

Mrs C. I couldn’t think of such a thing.

Mr M. Then you won’t come?

Mrs C. No, I couldn’t think of it.

Mr M. Waal, I don’t know as I blame you any. I don’t want to do anything to hurt you, but I can’t stay where I am, (with his daughter Mary Chamberlin) so you won’t come?

Mrs C. No I couldn’t think of such a thing.

Mr M. Waal, I don’t blame you any, but I have got to have somebody, and I mean to have someone.

Then followed a few common place observations on the weather and inquiries when she was going to her sisters, This is what I call a pretty cool proposal, not a word of marriage, or love in it, but marriage was meant by “keeping house” for him.

He has been fast after Mrs C. for a number of months, but she has given him no encouragement at all.

Tuesday, July 29th

This morn, churned before breakfast, baked this forenoon, afternoon, after doing dishes, picked cherries with Elmer, for tomorrow’s canning. Lorenzo and Mary called after tea.

I made two green apple pies today, took some of the windfalls, cut out the wormy part and without paring or coring, stewed them, and sifted through the sieve.

Nellie still gains, sat up straight in the rocking chair, with feet on the floor for half an hour.

Day cloudy, rainy part of the time and part sunny, very warm.

August 10th

Five weeks have passed, and again another Sabbath Eve, I am writing to you. It has been a lovely Sabbath day very pleasant, and cool, a good, invigorating air.

Oren, Aunt Louisa, & Elmer went to meeting. Oren only stayed to the morning service &,S. S. Aunt Louisa & Elmer went to the meeting at our school house.

Edie got so tired & sleepy before her bedtime, I put her in her wagon, and took her out-doors; drew her to the other side of the woods. Uncle Almon & John Nelson came to see Nellie after meeting.

Mrs. Chamberlin spent a part of Friday afternoon with us. Dr, Brown came about three o’clock. He and Oren took Nellie on the lounge and carried her out-doors, where she spent nearly two hours. O it did seem so good to see her out-doors again; the first time for seven months; she is gaining nicely now, and may she keep on, till she is well,

Mr. Roy, Cousin Ella Tandy & Elmer, with Elmer & I went hornpouting Wednesday Eve. Ella & I each caught 8 apiece, took some off ourselves. Got home to Uncle Almon’s first, 12 o’clock, caught about 27 in all.

Mr. Pay is so blind he did not fish any, but played the agreeable to the party.

Had a letter from Alice, a week ago last Friday night.

August 17th

Oren & Elmer went to church to day. Oren did not go till afternoon.

Mrs. Adams came up to stay with Nellie so as to let us all go, but Edie is feeling so miserably I could not go; she has been very sick for two days, took a hard cold Thursday, but has acted

more like herself to day, though rather fretful. Nellie still gains; she got off her bed alone yesterday, and walked to her chair by the window; to day, walked from her bed out into the kitchen to the window, Oren supported her the last half of the way. Thank God for it.

Aunt Louisa Chamberlain went away Thursday, not to come back so now alone, it seems good once more to have just our own family, though I enjoyed having her here very much.

Viola & Freddie & Orrie came up Wednesday intending to stay while Oren was gone to Vermont; but the Doctor came down Thurs about six o’clock, saying he could not come down the next day, so Oren did not go. It looked very much like a storm too, so Oren would not have gone anyway. 

Ella Tandy came over Tuesday afternoon, to have her hair cut off, Oren cut hers & mine too, it is more comfortable, though I do not think it looks as well as when long & combed over a roll in front; but I’m not at all sorry I had it cut. One half of Ellie’s hair weighed more than the whole of mine.

I had a letter from Sarah last Wednesday. She wants to go to school at Newport this fall, but Sadie Tandy has engaged the school in Uncle Alman’s district, & so cannot go, and I cannot leave here, so I do not know whether she will think she can go alone or not.

She is intending to stay at Mr. Smith’s only this month out.

Sept 17th

You dear old journal, I have neglected you shamefully, here it is a whole month since I wrote you, during that time what changes have been made. Darling Nellie is now so she walks round a good deal, sews & knits some, it was only three weeks ago tomorrow, she had her dress on for the first time, two weeks ago last Saturday, when Dr. Brown & wife were here she walked out to the pear tree; it is wonderful how she has changed within three weeks. She ate with us

for the first time for seven months last Thursday. Oh! it did seem so good! Grandpa is very sick has been since a week ago, last Sunday night.

Monday, Oren said he did not think he could live this week out, but he seems better to day, the disease may turn, and he get over it. He has wished all summer he might not live to see winter.

Mrs. Beck has been here to day, cleaning house preparatory to the Association next week; she cleaned up stairs & Nellie’s room except Nellie’s windows.

Oren helps me wash now has three times. Last Monday, Oren said, he got more tired, the cords in his legs ached worse, when he staid in the house and worked, than when out doors doing his hardest work; and that if any man got to thinking his wife didn’t have to work hard, but had a real kind of an easy time, first let him have to work in the house, doing all sorts of work, and see if he doesn’t change his mind.

Parker Dow has been chopping for Oren the greater share of the time for a month. We have had callers or visitors every day for three weeks.

Thursday Eve Oct. 2nd

Again My Cariad, I am seated at my table writing to you, while I’m waiting for Oren to come from Newport, where he has gone to see some apples.

He went to Weathersfield Tuesday, came home last night about midnight.

Mrs. Artemas Wheeler has a daughter. Mary Martin is having attentions paid her by a young student who preached there last summer. She is a nice girl.

Mother is seated at the table with me sewing. Nellie is lying on the lounge.

Mother came to see us a week ago last night. Sarah also came, but is now to Uncle Lorenzo Tandy’s where she intends staying a couple of weeks. She has never been there, and Uncle was very anxious to have her so she consented. He came up to the Association, which was held here last Wed. & Thurs. Mr. Bigly in his letter from Claremont, said, Seeing it was their lot to sojourn in the land of Egypt for a while, he was glad God had appointed their lot in the “goodly land of Goshen”, and hoped they would all be able to partake of the bounty & fatness of the land.

Grandpa fails every day, doesn’t eat any thing hardly, suffers a good deal at times. He is now groaning & complaining he is so tired lying in bed, not having been taken up since morning.

I have ironed to day what chance I had besides attending to Grandpa’s & Edie’s wants. Edie has got cold & her teeth are troubling her so that she feels pretty fussy.

It was so late when Oren got home last night, we overslept this morning, and there was so much to hear, it was very late when we had breakfast, and everything has been behind.

Mother has been twisting yarn, Nellie hemming towels, Elmer sawing wood, and Edie doing her work of fun & mischief, casting sunshine &c. Elmer cannot decide what he wants for his life occupation, he does not have any special liking for any one thing. I wish he could decide so as to be fitting himself for it; that he do the most usefulness in it.

Sarah, Elmer & I went to the musical Concert at Newport last Friday night; we enjoyed it very much. Mrs. Brown sung the Nightingale, they couldn’t have chosen a better one her voice is so clear & sweet,

Tuesday, October 7th

This day has been a dragging, fretful day to me.  We got up late, so it was very late when we had breakfast, so of course my other work was behind. Nellie got so tired waiting for my slow hands and feet to get round, so despite her weakness swept the dining room floor, which made me feel irritated knowing it was too much for Nellie, and what I ought to do; little things have kept coming up so all day, till I felt tired and discouraged. I am careless and absent-minded, I try,

am trying to break myself of it, but as yet make but little impression, not enough so that Oren & Nellie know it.

Now today, I set the bread sponge in the tin closet and shut the doors. I had but little fire, in getting dinner, I built a hotter fire, and forgot the bread so it got partially cooked, so of course was a failure, and Nellie found some dishes in the pantry I had neglected to get, there was carelessness, & absent-mindedness.

Nellie says I remember things that happen along that will never do me or any one else any good, but neglect the little things about my work, and ’tis just so.

O, my Cariad, you don’t know how it hurts my pride to be accused of carelessness, absent-mindedness, and slackness. ____? I’m  almost nineteen. It seems sometimes as though I didn’t know or do anything right.

I can’t sew decent; or do anything else decent. What a battle I have got to fight with self and sin, I need my Father’s aid continually. With God’s help I will conquer these, and become one of the neatest, Christian women. Mother went home last Saturday.

Uncle Levi and Aunt Mary came Sunday to see Grandpa. Grandpa was very feeble yester, much better to day. It has rained for 2 days.

October 9th

Another day has gone ne’er to return, and what has it carried with it as a recording to day? broken resolutions, sin and sorrow, with a little good as an interlude.

I tried to churn this morn but it didn’t come, after getting the morning chores done & dinner to going, I ironed; this afternoon ironed also what chance I had.

It has been a lovely day, so clear and comfortable. When Oren came up to dinner he told Nellie he was going to take her out to ride. They took Edie, they all enjoyed it very much. I commenced my letter to Father that evening. When I was getting supper, Nellie came out to where I was, and said, “There is one thing you and I have got to settle, I thought it was, but when I’m round doing work, or tell you of some fault,” here Edie put in her voice, so I had to leave Nellie and see to her, so our conversation was stopped. I confess I wasn’t sorry. I know well enough what she was going to say, it was that when she spoke to me, I looked sullen and as much as to say, you have no business to correct me and always finding fault.

I am so sorry I cause Nellie unhappiness with my temper and carelessness, when I should be Nellie’s comfort & blessing.

You see what makes me look so is a guilty conscience and pride. I am ashamed to have Nellie correct me, when I’m so old, and should be the pattern of neatness and thrift; and when she’s round to work seems as though she was looking to see something. I know there is a good many things not just right. I ___cience

Oct. 26th

I am writing the last part of what I wrote two weeks ago. I got to sleep so did not finish what I was going to say.

I told you Nellie did not notice that I was trying, I guess the reason was I didn’t try very hard, so didn’t make much impression but when I tried a little harder and really did do better, she noticed the very first thing. I do do a little better, but Nellie had to remind me of several things yesterday. I am going to keep on trying, and with God’s help I will conquer. I want to get by the time I’m nineteen, (as I shall be two months from to day) so that Nellie will have no occasion for sorrow on account of my carelessness.

I have told no one my resolve, only you dear Cariad, as it is to be a fight with myself and habit, God alone knowing & helping, only as others shall see the fruits.

Mr. Bragdon exchanged with Mr. Pay to day, text “Be ye doers of the word and not hearers only” &c, and, “Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way”, &c.

I would tell you more, but it is late and I am writing with lead pencil and it will rub out.

Oct. 27th

It was so late I did not tell you all that had happened since I wrote you last. Death has entered our dwelling, my Cariad, and taken from us our loved Grandpa, he left this earth the 18th of this month, and a week ago to day we laid his body in the cold, silent ground, but his spirit had taken its flight, and is rejoicing in Heaven with Christ and loved ones gone before. I wonder if he has taken my little brother Nathan and sister Emily on his knee and told them about Edie and that all their brothers and sisters are trying to follow Christ. I wonder too if they were the angels that met him first at the gate. It brings Heaven nearer having loved ones there. Grandpa looked very peaceful and happy after death, as though his had been a happy entering into the Golden City, although there is the “fireside lone; the staff, the vacant chair”, still we can not wish him back, he is so much happier.

His work was done and well done. The last two days and a half were slept quietly away, apparently free from pain, without a sigh he passed away, ready for the summons. Nellie was in at 25 min. past seven, at half past I went in and he was gone. Is it wrong Cariad for me not to grieve for him, is it because I am careless and light hearted that I grieve no more, but, I cannot for he is at rest; and he has long wished the summons to come. Edie says many times a day, [“]Wai Danny, where danny gone, danny gone ky (sky?)[“] she misses him very much, he knew about the last year of us.

Oct. 28th

O Cariad, What do you suppose I have just done. I have subscribed for a book describing the whole animal kingdom, price $15. Elmer pays one half, it is in two volumes; he will have one & I the other. You see the way it has come about is this. Mr. McLaughlin + an agent from Vernon Vermont called here after tea with the volumes. Oren of course did not feel able to buy it, after so hard times. Elmer & I liked it very much, (and Elmer is much interested in animals and insects you know) Mr. McLaughlin told Elmer he would give him a dollar towards it; so Elmer is going to give his lamb for two years, and I of course, take it from my wages. So we have commenced our libraries with a very useful volume. As soon as I can I’m going to get one that Mr. Hinkly of Leangdon had canvassing for, “Literature of the Bible”, another 15 dollar book, and then I should have volumes, which 100 $ would not purchase hardly.

I shall learn of the wonderful power and goodness of God, as I never did before. O I do want to know more, I feel such a hungering and thirsting after knowledge, it seems sometimes as though I must read and study all the time. Mr. Bragdon called while we were taking our tea. Some hunters called to day. Put out clothes, baked, and did usual chores. Nellie rolled out the upper crust for six pies, also ironed some, that is pretty smart for her isn’t it?

October 30th

Ironed to day, and strung six strings of apples. Nellie is better than yesterday, so that she has ironed some, fixed the apple that I strung, wrote to Alice and knit; yesterday she was pretty well used up after her hard Tuesday’s work and excitement. It has been another beautiful day.

Oren moved the stove this morn. This eve after sprinkling colored clothes and putting Edie to bed, wrote to Eva Marshall.

October 31st

Finished my ironing to day; after that mended Elmer’s mittens, hemmed his shirt sleeve, and made biscuits for supper, after which, washed lamps, and did my other night chores. I put little Edie to bed at eleven and she laid till quarter of one without going to sleep, for the first hour and a half, she had a nice time, but the last-half, cried & worried; so of course she has been rather fretful.

This eve, ripped an old dress waist up, tried to see whether I could make new underwaists from old ones, but failed, and put lining into the sleeves of my calico dress. Oren has gone to Newport and although it is now after nine he has not come home. His apples sell hard I guess.

November 6th Sabbath Eve

My Cariad, I should have written to you before, but I laid my letter book in the desk and forgot where I put it till I came across a few days ago.

I don’t know as I have advanced in my struggle much or not, only I know Nellie does not correct me quite as often, whether because she thinks it of no use or whether I’m a little more careful, I cannot tell, but I am awful negligent now, even to day this Lord’s day, I have let that spirit rule, neglecting to make the boys bed till night so I could read more.

I have been reading a story in the Christian Union called “Christies Work”, a story of a young girl, who tired of the hum drum life she had led, and seen others lead, having their aim only to wash, bake and iron, catch beaux and get married, determined to make her life noble and useful, entering heartily into the work she did, whatever it was, keeping before her, her purpose in life, of making the most and best of her life and helping others to do the same with theirs, her trials, encouragements, and discouragements. It increases my longing to make my life noble and worthy, as my Sister Nellie is hers, and others have done. I can not, will not be satisfied with just knowing how to cook &c, and make a match, but I must go on higher, higher, adding something to my mind, my religion every day, perfecting myself in household duties, fitting myself for my life work.

Nellie read a little scrap to day, about a church in Ohio, pledging itself to give a cent a day for the cause, every member rather, and this being done, they paid all expenses, and had some left; I told Nellie I must write it in my journal, and remember it, she said perhaps I could work it out; I mean to with myself at least.

Elmer and I went to the Temple last night; Hial Nelson & I were all that had anything for entertainment, eleven were present, the same as two weeks ago. We hold meetings now but once a fortnight. Our Temple does not seem to be in a very prosperous condition, but we shall outride the storm, before the winter is over we shall get roused up.

I never felt so interested in the work as now, willing to take hold, yes I had been willing, but had not the courage and strength, someway I seem stronger have more confidence than before Nellie was sick.

November 22nd Saturday Eve.

Another week is about closed, another week gone into the past ne’er to return, and what has been my record, has any good been accomplished, any habit conquered, any hasty word restrained! oh! I hope so I hope the record has not been all bad, all failure.

Last night as Nellie and I sat alone quietly sewing, we talked a little of my future, what my work should be, in life, whether teaching, to work in the “Home for Wanderers”, or something else, as these are the things I have thought of. Nellie said she wanted me to decide so as to be working for it. I want to do that in which I can be the most useful and happy. After going to bed, as I lay thinking of it, it seemed as though I should like gardening and poultry raising, and if God wills I will do it; I will earn a home for myself, get a small place, raise poultry and garden vegetables and pay for it, then help other poor girls, adopt little children, and help some to an education. O, Cariad, I long so to be doing something. I am now though doing my duty, helping Nellie, and gaining in useful knowledge myself.

Received a letter from Annie Richards last eve, her father is very sick.

The snow is over a foot deep, first snow fell a week ago last Wednesday, it is snug wintry weather; this is the first time I ever saw snow so long before Thanksgiving. Our chromo “Mischief Brewing” came last night. Agriculturist has not come yet.

Sabbath Eve.

Oren, Orrie and I went to meeting to day. Mr. Pay sermon this morning was on 2nd Peter, 3.18, Grow in grace and in knowledge of our lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. It was just what I wanted, as my mind is agitated now, with future and present work and plans, growth of mind, body and soul; it was just what I needed. He said grace meant Christ, his love, suffering and death, and the virtues given by the Spirit.

Knowledge of God and his requirements were needful, as the husk or shuck is to preserve the sweetness of the kernel.

We must grow in grace. Growth is the law of religion, of Nature, plants and animals grow. There is no standing still in the divine life, we are making either progressive or retrograde movement. Either increasing or decreasing in the grace of God. We ought to grow.

It is commanded, we owe it to our Heavenly Father, to others to ourselves. Text. Whether we are increasing or decrease in our love of prayer. He said plants nor children could grow and develop healthily and fully, without pure air and light, and exercise, so it was with religion. The Bible is given as a light to our path, and we should read and study it to develop true, noble Christians. It needed to be constantly exercised also. Text this afternoon, Job 36.18. I have taken Nellie Parker’s class of little boys, (“Birds of Promise”, her husband calls them) for half the time, when it’s to the “Corner”. I pray some little seed which shall grow.

This eve, we read aloud my new S.S. book, called “Jimmy’s Shoes”, it is very good, tells of street boys rescued, makes me more determined to have for my life work, the rescuing of homeless children.

Nov. 30th

Again ’tis Sunday Eve., and I am seated writing to you.

After doing the morning chores, and combing Nellies hair, I looked over two “Households” Nellie brought home.

This Eve, have been reading D’Aubigne’s History of the Reformation, the alliance of [Torgau], and of Louis’s Reformation, of [Zwingli (?)], Wirth and his two sons, Adrian and John, and of other very interesting which I can not write as Oren & Nellie want me to go to bed, although only 20 min. past eight.

Its cold windy weather, snow between one and two feet; Good Night; there is a lot more I wanted to tell you, but cannot.

December 2nd

Again my Cariad, I’m seated writing to you, if it is a fragmentary bit, you must excuse it, for I’m tending the lard kettle, we have been doing that pleasant (?) work of the year, butchering.

Nellie had a letter from sister Alice come this eve, she wrote “Thanksgiving Day”. Her oldest child Emma, has been very sick of “Typhoid” fever. Nellie, the next in age, is sick now, but better than she been.

Father doctored them Alice said he is one of best of doctors. I know he used to be. O, why will he not see his sin and do as he ought, return to his God and family. O, Heavenly Father, shall not the prayers, of wife and children, be answered?

Cariad, I wonder if you ever felt as I do, Nellie gets up in the morning, goes right to work, keeps it up till she goes to bed, without resting a moment scarcely, will not go to bed till Oren gets all his night chores done, and here she is just recovering from a long, severe illness, in hard pain all the time; but she will not listen to expostulations, she says there is so much to be done, she must do it. [“]I must do it,[“] she says, and she does do it, at the risk of her life in days to come. It makes me feel rebellious, if she would only rest a while every day, it would do, but not a minutes rest will she take, and I don’t dare to say much about it, for there come such a set look round her mouth, and her looks and actions seem so you don’t know anything about it, and I hate to see it, so I nurse my rebellion, and keep as still as I can. It isn’t because I do not love Nellie, but because I do love her so much, and want her to be spared many many years to us.

I read a composition last Saturday night to the Temple, called “Sacredness of the Temple Now”, I trembled while reading it although only nine were there, but there hasn’t been any compositions read before, but that subject has been on my mind for quite a while.

Emogen Cofran, and Justin Marshall, Etta Hardy and Steven Maxum, were married Thanksgiving day.

Nellie went over to her mothers last Friday and staid till Saturday Eve.

Snow has fallen some to day.

December 4th

“Nothing but leaves”, blighted too.

December 5th

To day been a very happy one, I did my chores as soon as possible, and then Elmer and I went to meeting, it is held by members of Y.M.C.A. , in their tour through N.H. it commenced Wednesday eve. closes to night, to day was indeed a sweet season to me, in the half hour prayer meeting which closed afternoon meeting, not a second was wasted, but fully occupied by prayer, or singing.

“O for a closer walk with God.”

Mr. Bragdon came home with us. Nellie is very tired, taking care of Edie, and the work, running the sewing machine, and then hurrying in getting tea ready.

I made Nellie feel very tired yesterday afternoon. We were going to make my cloth sack, I had it cut Newport, expecting to make it myself, and of course should have found out every particular about it, and Nellie supposed I had, and when she came to get it, and ask me about such, and such things, how wide the hem should be, whether this or the other side of bastings I couldn’t tell, and so it was with a number of things, and it vexed her to think I was so careless. She said she wanted to see me take some interest, as though I cared, and that I better not think about my mission, what I shall do for others, till I learn these practical things, she said she thought I was trying, but this made her feel real tried with me and I sat there and rebelled in my heart; I was angry at myself, sorry and angry because she felt so. O, Cariad I did try, and am trying, but I never made any garment before, only underclothing, and I didn’t know what I wanted to or not to ask, but I will try to do better next time. Nellie says it is my duty a woman and Christian woman. I do want to be a neat, particular Christian woman, such as my God and Nellie would approve.

December 7th

Oren, Elmer & I went to meeting to day. Mr. Hinkly preached text that morning. “Revive thy work in my heart O Lord”, in the midst of these years. This afternoon “As workers together with him, &c; he preached excellently.

Miss Sanborn took our class to day.

After the lesson was over, and the other two scholars had gone out, we had a precious talk together. (I never spoke to her before). She is a Christian, an earnest one too. When we sung “Shall we gather at the River” our eyes met; and there was such a mutual understanding, and love, my lips trembled, and eyes filled, as I went on with it.

This evening have read “Stepping Heavenward”. It is good, so good.

December 14th

This afternoont about three Alvin came to take Orrie home. Nellie wrote them he had [whooping] cough, and he came to take him home, fearing the care of him if he was very sick, would make Nellie sick, and hoping he had not got far enough along to give it to our little Edie.

We miss Orrie very much, Nellie especially. Hial Nelson came yesterday afternoon, in the evening we three went to the Temple together. It was very stormy, and Nellie and I were to work on my wrapper, when Nellie says [“]there is Hial Nelson,[“] at this my heart gave a bound, and went pit-pat for a minute, but as he didn’t come in immediately, I got cool. Nellie was changing her apron, so didn’t notice it, even if I did look funny, which I don’t know as I did. I’m afraid I am getting to like him, a little better than I ought, perhaps, as he does not act as though he had any particular regard for me. I respect him anyway,he is a noble, Christian young man.

December 21st

Again ’tis Sunday Eve. I have been to meeting all day. Oren, Sarah and I went during the day. Elmer, Sarah and I this eve. Texts: [“]’Tis not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit saith the Lord”, and, As Paul reasoned on, righteousness, temperance, and judgement to come. Felix trembled &c.

We had a very good meeting this eve, we were a little late, all the seats were occupied, but a settee on the side in front of them all, it seemed as though, it was on purpose to try me, to see whether I loved Jesus well enough to stand in front of them all, and tell of his love and then some one during the meeting threw something and hit me twice, which made the blood rush to my face, and heart beat fast, but God strengthened me.

December 28th

Sunday afternoon.

It was so stormy we could not any of us go to meeting; it commenced storming Friday afternoon, snowed by spells yesterday, and all last night and this forenoon, there has between one and two feet fallen, it doesn’t snow this afternoon, but windy.

I have spent so much of the day, in looking over a book I took from “Kelley’s Library” Newport called, “The Minister’s Wooing” and in reading the 3rd volume of D’Aubigne’s History of the Reformation describing the peasants revolt, Luther’s marriage, evangelical alliance and history of [Gaul (?)]. I have been very much interested, what Christian courage, and faith in God, must these old reformers and disciples have had. Could I have stood and boldly acknowledged my God? I fear not.

Christmas Eve, Sarah, Elmer and I went to the Sociable at Mrs. Solan Willey’s, we had a pleasant time. Christmas day, Sarah and I went to Newport, to buy Nellie a dress, coat and hat. Sarah and I each took some books out of Kelly’s library, I enjoyed it much, none of us get Christmas presents except Sarah, this is the way she got it; as I was first passing through the door, Wednesday eve. at the W’s, to come home, John Nelson touched me on the shoulder. What in the world’s coming now, I thought, what is he going to say to me, but it was quickly explained, as he took a package out of his pocket and handed to me saying, “Will you please put this somewhere, where Sarah can see it to morrow.[“] It was a very pretty little box, containing six spools of thread from 30 to 70, on little stands, with holes for the ends of the thread it is made of wood which grew near Alloway Kirk on the banks of the Doon, with an engraving of Burn’s monument on the top, in it was a card having on one side “Beaten by a woman”, on the other side a few words of dedication to Sarah. When John, with Jane and Hial were up here, a week ago last Saturday eve, Sarah beat him in checkers, and in repartees, so that he felt rather taken aback and this was his acknowledgement.

Last Friday, the 26th, I was nineteen, can it be I am in my twentieth year. I have read that by twenty a persons character is formed, what is mine, what shall it be. O, Cariad a feeling of sadness comes over me, as I think how the years are passing away, everything is changing, things do not seem now as… [2 pages cut out here]

I went to Mrs. Chamberlin’s, in the evening went to Mrs. Cofrans. Ella and Elmer T., John & Hial Nelson, Sarah, Elmer and I were there, we passed a very pleasant evening. Mrs, Cofran treated us to very nice refreshments. We did not come home till about one o’clock. I did my part well in hiding my feelings, perhaps I was a little too wild, and cut a little too hard once in a while; I surely was more full of fun than I ever was outside of my own family. Our family, Cariad, amongst some, has the name of being the happiest family in town, where there is the least scolding and fretting. I think it is, and may it ever be so, and each one of the members carry the same characteristic to bless homes of their own, should they be blessed with them.

Yesterday morning, Dear Sarah left us to go to her work at Mrs. Gage’s. Ascutneyville, Vermont, it seems lonesome without her bright, sunshiny presence, she has been with us so long, five weeks, the longest time for four years. Every one wanted her to stay longer, she is a favorite with everyone, old and young. May God’s blessing go with her. Last evening was the the installation of the officers of the Temple. Elmer and I entered upon our offices last night, Elmer as Chief Templar, I as Secretary. I dread it, but will try to do my best; Mr. Bragdon was there, an[d] in the afternoon, his temple to Hillsborough Bridge, is flourishing.

Sister Nellie has gone to meeting, she has gone for the first time, for over a year, yes two years, since she went in the day time; it seemed so good to see [her (?)] getting ready this morn, and for me to comb her hair, as I used to Sabbath mornings.

I hope the excitement will not hurt her.

Mr. Bragdon will preach to day.

O, Cariad do you think ———  I will not ask you that. I will not these thoughts down, but will strive not to dwell on them, but be led by the Spirit up higher, nearer to Christ. These lines express my longing after Christ, longings ever increasing.

“O could I find from day to day,

A nearness to my God;

Then should my hours glide sweet away,

And live upon thy Word.

Lord I desire with thee to live Anew from day to day

In joy the world can never give,

Nor never take away.

O, Jesus, come and rule my heart;

And I’ll be wholly thine;

And never, never more depart,

For thou art wholly mine.”

Feb 4th Langdon

Cariad, where do you suppose I am now, at last I am with my mother and sister Mina, enjoying myself very much, it seems so good to be with them again, it has been a year and a half since I was here. Elmer and I came here two weeks ago tomorrow night. Elmer staid till Saturday.

Feb 8th

Here’s a rule for knitting a tidy and edging. Tidy. Cast upon very coarse needles ninety-two stitches, knit across plain, seam back, knit across plain as before, seam back. Commence. Knit narrow eight stitches into four, pull thread up over once, making loop stitch, knit one stitch, thread over, knit one, thread over, knit one, thread over, knit one, thread over, knit one, thread, knit one, thread over, knit one, thread over, narrow eight times, over nine times as before, narrow eight times as before on the right [side], across, seam back, knit across plain, seam back making three times across between eyelets accoring to rule, trim with fringe or not. Diamond edging.

Cast upon knitting pin nine stitches. Knit three stitches, narrow once, put over thread once, narrow, thread over, knit one stitch, thread over, knit one, knit back seam. Knit one, narrow, thread over, narrow, over, knit five stitches, thread over, knit one, knit back, seam or plain, knit 3 stitches, thread over, narrow, over, narrow three stitches together, over once, narrow, back seam or plain, knit five stitches, thread over, narrow three stitches together, over, narrow.

Troy Pudding.

One cup suet or cream, one cup dried apple, or raisins, soak over night, boil in one cup of molasses, 1 cup milk, 3 cups flour, 1 teaspoonful soda, spice as liked, steam 3½ hours.

Feb 12th

Willie talked so I couldn’t write that night. I came home last Saturday eve. left Willies Friday noon, went from there to Uncle Jacob Foster’s. Mother went with us, had a very pleasant visit there and to cousin Polly Fletcher’s. Elmer came after me Thurs. eve. Sunday, Oren, Nellie and I went to meeting; first time I have been to meeting with Nellie for over two years, first time Nellie had been to meeting at the River for two years, in the day time, a week ago last night she went to the donation.

I am now at the Chamberlin’s have been since Monday. Lorenzo and Mary had a little son born to them Monday the 9th. Mary is quite comfortable. I saw a book at Mina’s I liked very much. “[The American] Woman[‘]s Home” by Catharine Beecher and Mrs. Stowe.

I have written to Julia and Emma Hatch to night; had a letter from Annie Richards, last Wednesday, how thankful I am for such a correspondent; an accomplished, pure, Christian girl, a girl to love and respect.

I had a very short stay at home, got home Saturday night. Monday did washing and cleaning floors, afternoon about four came here to Mrs Chamberlin’s; none of them have said anything about the pay, but I shall ask two dollars and a half, that is what every girl gets, and I have all the work to do, every moment is occupied doing housework, sewing carpet rags or knitting, so I think I shall earn it, don’t you Cariad? It is very handy doing work here.

13th

Having another thaw, the snow has thawed fast to day, to night it rains. Ironed again to day, this eve worked on apples.

Mrs Chamberlin has something I want, it is a board for doing shirt bosoms on. A board a little longer and wider than the bosom, covered with cloth to slip into the inside of the shirt, under the bosom.

Cariad, I solemnly promise you not to read a story book this year. I know it will be hard, much as I love stories, and that is just the reason, when I have stories I don’t read solid matter enough, so this year I must practise self denial for sake of self, for my mind must be improved, and I can gain ever so much, by good reading. I need God’s strength to help me, for it will be a hard fight sometimes.

There is a great revival at Lempster Pond.

Feb 18th

Sunday Eve. Again the Sabbath has come, that quiet, peaceful day, the day of rest.

It rose beautiful and clear. What record has it taken to Heaven?

The record of a mind wandering part of the time during sermon.

Mr Pay’s text this morn, was, Is the consolation of God small with thee? is there not some secret thing with thee? Afternoon. Romans 2 ch 6-10 verse “Who will render to every man according to his deeds; to them who by patient continuance in well doing” &c, he preached very well indeed. 1st We were rewarded according to our deeds and for our deeds so much, but according too, example. A man hires a person for a week to do work, and promises to pay so much, that is for work; but if he, being a rich man and owning a gold mine in his field, hires two men and tells them they may have all the gold they dig, and one being industrious, digs a large amount; while the other being [dilatory] gets but little; they are rewarded according to 2nd. Patient continuance. continuing patiently in well doing, serving Christ, daily, hourly. 3rd Those who do not obey the truth, sorrow and anguish; Those who do Joy, and peace.

How much reason Christians have to be so.

Our S.S. lesson was on Jehovah’s Passover. I never gained, understood so much of it before. leaven is yeast; a symbol of deceit. The Israelites were to eat unleavened bread, a symbol of sincerity. They were to do just as God told them or they would not be saved although, as some said, it didn’t seem as though it would make much difference.

I had an idea, I never had before come to night while studying the last of the lesson which we hadn’t time to hear to day.

The passover, as compared with the Lord’s Supper, instituted by Christ. We find that those who partook of the Passover, were all Israelites, those that were circumcised, if strangers were there, they could not partake, without being circumcised, and fulfilling the requirements of God; so also at the Lord’s table, only those that have been saved through Christ’s blood, that have been baptized ([indistinguishable] same as circumcision) partake of the emblems. Only Christ’s disciples with him in the little upper room.

This evening studied my lesson for next S. and read part of the life of Mrs Ann Judson.

She was a brave, Christian woman.

When I read my Bible, and the memoirs of christian men and women, it makes me long for a greater nearness to my God, and O, my God, increase this longing, make me grow nearer and nearer to Thee every day.

Father I know I love thee, but deepen Thou my love, till I am wholly thine.

There is to be a lecture next Wednesday Eve by the great temperance orator, Mr Murphy. I hope he will stir the people up.

We Templars have decided to try to have an exhibition, just as soon as we can get it up.

I spoke to Hial about it at recess, he said he would help all he could, would make the motion and see what the others thought.

There was a good deal of opposition, but it was carried, some thought there were not enough girls, there isn’t but I that go constantly, but other members say they will help, so I think we can carry it through, it is coming the time when its usually drifted, but it may be good sleighing then. The ground as bare now as in May.

If it does fail the curse will fall upon Hial and I. I walked over to meeting and back again last evening. Elmer came over and went with me. Elmer Tandy came home with me from the corner of the road by Mr Marshals. Just a year ago to night Nellie was taken sick abed, from which she did not get up to walk till the first of September.

What a sad day the 18th was last year, when Nellie was so sick seemed as though she couldn’t live. O, Father I thank thee that to day is not like that day; but that my darling sister is spared, and restored to such a good degree of health. She is enjoying this winter very much, she feels so glad and thankful for returning strength.

How much I have to be thankful for. This past year has been an eventful one, sickness and death was with us continually, but God’s hand I can see in it all, and his presence was ever with us.

I have learned some lessons this past year I know, whether all I should, I cannot tell. And oh, Cariad, I do hope I have advanced. I could not see at the time, but as I look back to a year ago, it seems as though I could see improvement, and that my idea of life was higher, nobler, oh, Father grant it may be so; and lead me higher, higher.

Monday 16th

Mr Pay made Mrs Chamberlin’s folks a visit today, came about ten this morn, remained till after tea. I enjoyed it very much, seems as though I never enjoyed a call from him so much before, I saw more of the true man. Mr Mumery asked him several questions for sake of information he said, but it was to draw him, to defend his opinions.

The questions were on temperance, temperance as in connection with our churches, dress of Christians, and whether he thought the world was growing better. Mr M. said the devil was getting the upper hand, but Mr Pay stood up for our God, God omnipotent reigneth, he will reign eventually, and tread his enemies under his feet, how eloquently he plead for the cause of our Lord, how he denied the imputation that God was forgetting to be gracious. I have been very much interested in it all. I had wanted to hear from the very subjects. God knew my desire, and took this way to grant it, and may I remember and profit by it.

Saturday 21st

A feeling of sadness creeps over me to night, which I can not help, as I think of leaving here, perhaps to try some other place. Mrs Chamberlin told me tonight that after next Monday she should try to get along alone, Mary is so smart, and so away I go. I could go home and stay till sugaring (when Nellie wants me) but they are not able to pay and I can not be idle for I must earn money to buy my clothes another summer. I shall earn five dollars here, which with 8 Oren owes me would make only 18, and that isn’t near enough, so what shall I do Cariad?

Hial did not come up to night to see about the exhibition it was so stormy.

Darling Elmer came over to night to see me, and bring a dialogue to submit so to our decision. He is one of best, dearest brothers ever lived.

Sunday Eve.

I did not go to meeting to day as Mrs, Chamberlin went. I spent the day in reading the life of Mrs. Ann Judson there were several sentences I couldn’t but notice. one promise “Open your mouth wide and I will fill it,” On earth we serve him; in heaven enjoy him. “When in heaven we can do nothing towards saving immortal souls; we should live so that our union to Christ, may not only be satisfactory to ourselves, but to all around us.”

I have felt much impressed, with this sentiment, that Christians in their prayers do not make it a sufficient object to enter into heaven. In this exercise we professedly converse with God. Towards night Mr N. started the discussion, sleep of the dead, and everlasting punishment of wicked. We had quite a talk, all of us searching after the truth, I have spent all the evening in searching my bible, and have found things I never noticed before, have obtained some light on these, and also on one or two others, and saw some precious promises, one is, While ye are calling upon me will I answer, and while ye are speaking I will hear, oh precious promise! I know its true, I have proved the blessing and found it sufficient, weak, sinful creature that I am, God has verified that promise to me, and may I not doubt him again, may I trust all the issues of life and eternity in his hands, and during the short time I live on earth, may I work for Christ, may I follow in his footsteps, willing to be lef by his hand.

O, Father grant unto me a nearer access to thee, may I lay hold on thy promises and claim them mine; sanctify me and make me pure, Thou alone knowest my longing after holiness, satisfy my soul with thee.

My stay on earth is to be short I think, I can not tell, but it has seemed so far a good while, and does now, and that I may do some good is my daily prayer.

What makes me think so I cannot tell, for I am quite well, but for a number of years it has seemed as though I should find an early grave, but if I am ready and my work is done, whether sooner or later, it is all the same, I want to be wholly Christian.

March 8th

How I do neglect you, you dear old mournal, my bosom friend, and confidant; two weeks have passed since I penned any of my thoughts and doings for you. I am now at home where I have been for two weeks; and it seems good too, and also strange too, it seems odd to be little girl again in baking, and wait on Nellie while she goes ahead in cooking instead of me, but with it comes a spirit of such joy and thankfulness.

A week ago yesterday Nellie went to the Doctor’s and staid till Monday, she had a very pleasant time. Friday afternoon our own Sarah came, she is going to stay two weeks with us.

Last evening, we all went to the “Silver Wedding” at Uncle William Tandy’s, there were a hundred and twenty five present. It was an entire surprise to uncle and aunt, they went visiting in the afternoon, in the evening about six o’clock C. Putney went over and told them they had company, and were wanted at home, and when they got there the house was full of people. They had no thought of such a thing. Letters from Uncle Lorenzo and Elder Gage were read, also original poems by Aunt Lucy T. and Mrs M. Booth.

At the latter part of the evening while Uncle and Aunt were in the sitting room, a table was set in the kitchen, on which were placed the presents. A beautiful castor from Mr Pay, cake basket, butter dish, and spoon holder, from friends and grand children, salt cellar, and pie knife from nieces and girls, two napkin rings, Sarah gave one, six forks from their children, and a sugar spoon. It passed off very pleasantly indeed. 

Sarah and I stopped to Uncle’s last night. We had a very interesting S.S. lesson to day “Bitter waters sweetened”, it had important lessons in it. Concert this afternoon. Oliver Parker told me in S.S. he wanted me to write a piece of poetry or prose, for the next concert. I told him I shouldn’t do it, and I won’t, poetry! I have about as much poetry as a potato, prose, but little better, he told Oren if he remembered rightly, I was pretty good in writing; he must have remembered very wrong; he never heard any of my compositions, if he had he wouldn’t have asked me, one would have satisfied him very quick, he hasn’t heard any and I don’t think he will very soon.

I am not going to make a fool of myself, and he needn’t think it. I’ll learn a piece, but as for writing and reading one, I cannot and I will not.

We had an excellent meeting last Tues. night, the Spirit seemed to be with us. Oh! that sinners might be brought to Christ, and God’s people be quickened. Grant dear Savior, that I may be filled with thy love.

March 18th

I am alone this evening, Cariad, as I write; Elmer & Edie are abed, Oren, Nellie and Sarah to meeting. We are holding meetings every afternoon and evening, this week, and oh, such precious meetings as we are having; the Spirit is indeed with us, quickening and reviving God’s people, pressing upon them a burden for souls.

Mr Whittier, the evangelist, is laboring with us this week. God grant his labor may be blessed, and many stars given in his crown of rejoicing.

His texts have been, Mon. eve. “God be merciful to me a sinner.” Tues. “Have faith in God,” and “Weighted in the balances and found wanting.” Wed. afternoon, “O, that Ishmael might live before God.” O, that I might live before God, that I might have more faith in Him , more love to him. O fill my heart with love to the [indistinguishable], make me full of thy presence, oh! make me more thine own, cleanse me from all unrighteousness, and make me fit for the indwelling of thy Holy Spirit, roll upon me a greater burden for souls oh, my Redeemer; bring many lost ones to Thee.

O’ Father may I not be weighed in balances and found wanting, at the last great day. Hear me O my Father for thy dear Son’s sake.

Sarah staid and helped Aunt Sarah Monday night and Tuesday, intending to come home Tues. night, but they didn’t take the team so Sarah and I both were there today. I trust we shall see a bountiful outpouring of God’s Holy Spirit in this place.

Oren has sold his farm at last, so he’ll not have to go back and forth to Vt. now I hope, but he had to sacrifice a lot on it, four years ago when he sold it to J. Bronson, (the rascal!) he sold it for $3000, now for $1700. He is left now with not as much as he had 18 years ago when first married, so now at thirty six he starts anew. Oren deserves to prosper now. He is as good a Chirstian as ever lived, I think, and Nellie is as good.

O, Cariad I am ashamed at what I told you of Hial Nelson. I don’t love him, it was only because I kept thinking about it, and growing soft and sentimental, it was all sentimental, instead of pure love, I esteem him highly and that is all.

Monday Mar 23rd

O, Cariad, wonderful blessed things are happening in this town, last evening we saw a wonderful token of God’s love; forty one persons went forward for prayers last evening, about fifteen or twenty of whom have found the Saviour in the past week, oh, how sweet it is to see them coming to Christ and oh, for many more, grant that this may be but the beginning of God’s work. Some of them are among the worst cases in town, they are composed of men and women, young men and maidens and children.

Six of my S.S. class have a hope, and one other has requested prayers may they all come.

Mr. Whittier leaves to day for Sutton, may God’s Spirit go with him there, and remain with us here that many more may be brought to Christ. O, God, keep the Christians low at the feet of Jesus, pleading for souls. Sarah has gone back to Vt., started this morn, how we all shall miss her.

Tues 24th

Oren and Elmer are to meeting. Washed to day, bitter cold, thermometer, two degrees below zero this morn. Wrote to Father this evening.

April 2nd

Cariad, I must tell you what I heard last Saturday night at the Temple. 

At recess while Hial and I were talking of the meetings, he asked me if I spoke to Herman Robberson the Sunday evening before, he said: Herman told John a few days before, that what cut him the closest, and made him think the most, was what a young lady said to him the Sunday eve before, and described me so accurately, they thought it must be me, and oh, Cariad, you cannot tell how thankful I felt, that God had owned and blessed my efforts, and given me one star. That evening, I noticed a young man sitting opposite me, who seemed to be moved, but was trying to shake off the feeling, after meeting I spoke to him although a stranger, expecting never to see or hear from him again, but as it proved he is working in the Tannery at the River.

Thus by doing what I felt my duty I have been blessed.

The meetings are held at the “Corners”, this week; Mr Bragdon has been with us a week, goes back Saturday. Although there is nothing the interest which there was while Mr Whittier was with us, still the Spirit tarries with us. Mrs James Trow has found the Saviour, Mrs Woodbury Trow, and Mrs Belknap Bartlett have said “pray for me”, and God grant there may be many more brought to the Saviour.

Cousin Lottie Allen came yesterday and went away this forenoon, last night after we had gone to bed, while talking with her, she said she wanted to be a Christian, she knew she should be a great deal happier, all of her cousins and friends who were Christians are happier than those who are not. O, God bring her home to Thee.

The 18th of May

Cariad I expect I shall commence teaching. I shall teach in our own district and board at home; engaged the school Monday, oh! I hope I shall have good success.

Oren has made 500 lbs. of sugar.

I have answered this week, or rather written letters this weet to Father, Mother, Sarah, and Youth’s Companion Office.

April 9th

I have just returned from meeting, we had a very go[o]d one.

I was enabled to overcome the obstacle which has been in my way for quite a while; it is this to pray in meeting, several times I have felt as though I must get down and pray, to night I did it, and I immediately was blessed in my feelings.

No new ones have risen at the Chapel, God grant they may.

Herman Robinson was there and I spoke with him; I feel a peculair interest in him, as I was the means under God of leading him to the Saviour.

He always looks up with a smile of recognition. May he continue faithful. God grant many more may come.

Monday eve, April 13th

I have just been writing to Mr Bragdon a history of our Temple, for the Helping Hand. Elmer and I went to the meeting last Saturday night; there were but six present, I was the only girl, but the meeting was called to order. Oren got the temple “record book” for me this morning, I have not had it since I was chosen secretary.

We had a very good meeting last eve. at the Chapel, between thirty and forty took part. Two new ones have found the Saviour Lizzie Roe, and Herbert Gregg. Belknap Bartlett has also started, may more come.

Nellie and Edie went to Mrs Chamberlin’s this afternoon, Oren has gone after them.

I am much interested in a book I am reading [“]Life of Mary Lyon”, what a noble woman she was, there are some now just as true and noble, only hidden in present life.

As true noble Christians are found in the domestic circle as elsewhere, true Christianity is shown in our everyday life, Miss Lyon says that putting things in their places, hanging up a dish towel, is just as much honoring God, as praying with the impenitent or watching with the sick. That is the same principle Nellie has tried to instil[l] into my mind.

I am very careless of these little things, yes of big things too, but oh! I will try to be a true Christian woman.

Wednesday Eve. Apr. 15th

I have been figuring up my expenses this eve for the year, to see how I was coming out, it comes to almost $70 spite of all I can do, but I must go to school this fall as it will be the last, so I am going even if it does take nearly all I laid by last year, and all I can scrape this year.

Hial Nelson’s uncle James Nelson died Saturday, he was stricken down suddenly with heart disease while returning from the P. O. he was not a Christian.

Hial feels his death very keenly, I never saw Hial look as he did last night, there was such a sad, troubled look in his eyes last night when I spoke with him, I longed to comfort him, but could not.

O, Cariad, I do love him I know I do, and I long to be by his side to night, after the funeral, oh, Cariad, if you could only speak and tell me whether he cared anything for me, or whether he loves some one else, how glad I should be. I can say nothing about it to Nellie, or any one. Until I hear for certain that he is going with some one, I can not help hoping.

Sarah heard, that it certainly was going to be a match between he and Stella W, whether it is so or not I can not tell, I almost hope not, although I can wish them God speed. I would not say this to you, if I ever thought any one would ever see it; for it seems foolish, but no one will see it, it is for me alone, or you Cariad when I find you, as “Faith White” did.

Is this love I ask myself again and again. I know I feel different towards him than any one else, think of him so often, and long oh so much for a glimmering of light, I never wanted else, (young man) to love me, but I do want him to, yes I do very much. I have laughed and made fun of him, and tried not to like him, but I couldn’t help respecting him, he is so kind and thoughtful, has been ever since I knew him, considerate of his sisters, and a true everyday Christian, so I couldn’t help respecting him, till it has all unconsciously grown to love, unknown till it had taken root.

He was poor, and every one nearly laughed at the family, tall and plain looking, so I never tried to love him, but I think now I do, and even should he never requite it, I will thank God for it, that I ever loved so noble a man, and let it lead me to higher life.

It has been very spring like to day, warm and pleasant; baked and ironed to day.

Thurs. 23rd

We are still sugaring, sugared off twice today. Edie has been full of mischief. Last night Elmer and I went to the “young people’s prayer meeting”, we had a very good one, though I didn’t enjoy it, as I should if I had not left duty at home.

It was our intention to go, so I wanted to call Oren and Elmer at half past five, but Nellie thought not best, so we hadn’t supper till nearly 6 o’clock. I cleared off the table, strained the milk, fixed Edies bed, did not have time to do the dishes, but tried to have Nellie leave them, but the reason of my not feeling right was because I felt I ought to stay home, you see Nellie was ,very tired, and there was the sugar to stir, and Edie to put to bed, I will try to do right next time, even if Nellie should almost sharply tell me to go.

I got a letter from Lelia Hatch.

0, Cariad I have got a pleasant prospect before me, the life of a dyspeptic. Now at nineteen, I have got the dyspepsia, have had it coming on for three years, and now it troubles me very much I can’t eat any sugar, if I do I suffer bitterly for it afterwards, but thank God it is only a day at a time I have to live, but I do not like to look forward to a lifetime of dyspepsia, other ailments of course with it, but God will strengthen me.

Sabbath Eve.

It has been so stormy to day, we none of us went to meeting, commenced snowing yesterday afternoon, snowed all day to day, there has about 15 inches fallen, and here it is the 26th of April. We have had a quiet Sabbath at home. Nellie read a chapter in “Practical Christianity”, Duties of a Christian, we talked on that awhile, and then went onto baptism, we have hunted it up pretty thoroughly, and found nothing to shake our faith in immersion.

I finished “Mary Lyon” what a true, noble, Christian character, would that the principles she inculcated, were carried out by us all. “Holiness to the Lord” inscribed on everything we do, or have. “Promptly and faithfully to perform every duty in the place when you are, as a member of a family, or of a school, is the best way to prepare for the duties of any and every station in life. Avoid for your whole life, trying the patience or irritating, the feelings of others, and cultivate those habits which will make you welcome visitors and valuable friends anywhere.

Be perfect in all the requirernents of this school and you will have powers to control yourself elsewhere.

Scholars in the end respect and love those teachers best, who seek their interest rather than their gratification.

Never write a foolish thing in a letter or elsewhere; “what is written is written”.

May 2nd

To day while sitting by the window Edie said “Now I ‘ay me down sleep,[“] then getting up into Nellie’s lap, finished it, ‘pay ‘ord, soul keep, if I should die, fore Edie wake, pay “Ord, soul take (Papa pay ‘ord) this ask, Jesus sake; it sounded so sweet coming from her little lips; she is a precious darling, she bids fair now to have a very retentive memory, also an ear for music, can sing Greenville through now without a mistake, and two other tunes partly through, and only 2 yrs 4 mo.

I must tell you what Nellie said yesterday, she was looking over “Abercrombie’s Intellectual Philosophy,[“] and I asked her if she was studying it, “No, only looking to see whether I want to, seeing what the principle is &c, gaining a little idea of it; because I cannot learn the Alphabet at once is no reason why I can not learn A, and because I can not study the whole, is no reason why I can not learn a part of the Philosophy.”

That is the principle she goes on, although she has not been to school since the fall after she was fifteen, she is a very well educated woman.

She was an excellent scholar when young, and despite her cares has kept adding to her knowledge.

We haven’t sugared off but once to day four times yesterday. This week, have caked 1700 cakes, 175 lbs tub sugar, 1 can and some syrup.

Since a week ago to day, there has two feet of snow fallen.

It was the funniest “May day” yesterday I ever saw, with snow between 1 and 2 feet deep, instead of green grass and budding flowers.The spring of 1874 will be told about to future generations.

Nellie’s teeth have been troubling her very much yesterday & to day.

Had a letter from Annie Richards yesterday. Bayard Patton is a Christian.

May 10th

Again ’tis Sabbath eve, as I ____________

May 24th

I could not finish that eve, and have seen no chances since.

O, Cariad I have just come to night from baptismal waters, and my heart is filled with sweet peace, seven have to day taken on Christ in baptism, by being buried in the liquid grave, in commemoration of Christ and may they truly “rise in newness of life”. feel then their Saviour closer than e’er before.

Mr Leavitt took dear little Allie, our little lame cousin, in his arms, and carefully carried her into the stream, baptised her, there was such a sweet, heavenly smile on her face, as she thus followed Christ.

Our temple meeting is disbanded, for the last two meeting nights, it has rained so we have had none; last night it was pleasant so I walked over, but only Hial was there, so after a few minutes we came home.

My school has kept now one week; I like very much, hope I shall better & better and they me. I got my certificate a week ago last Friday. George Emmerson examined me half an hour in Arithmetic; an hour in the whole.

June 4th

The last I wrote I said I liked teaching very much so I do, have taught now three weeks nearly, I have had eleven different ones, but 8 has been the usual attendance. one forenoon I had only 4, yesterday 3 to day 6.

Frankie & Martha have left, carried their books home Thursday night.

They commenced the day rather impudent & defiant; more especially Frankie.

A little before recess, Frankie placed her slate on end on the desk, instead of her book as I wanted her too.

I took no notice of it at first, but after a while I told her if she wanted anything to place on her book, as my rule was. “O, Dear” she said, she took her slate down and went to ciphering.

A short time after recess Martha Baker held her slate up in the same way, I took no notice of it, and soon it went down; soon after Frankie’s came up, shutting her book she just sat there and held it, I paid no attention to it; she held it for ten minutes and then her head went down on the desk, and she cried & kept her head bowed for ten or 15 minutes; then raising her head she sat up in the corner of the seat; and pulled cherry blossoms together and pulled her book, and looking and laughing at Martha, twice I requested her to study, but no notice was taken except to be more impudent. I said to her, [“]Because you did not do right in doing as I requested about your slate, is no reason why you should do wrong in not obeying me by studying your lesson, because you did wrong once, is no reason why you should again.” “I didn’t know as I had done anything very wrong,” she said. I said a little in return and went on with the lessons after waiting about five minutes, hoping her better nature would conquer, I went back by her desk, and taking out my watch and holding it in my hand, I said, “I will give you just two minutes to mind me in Frankie,” before they had gone her book was out, but oh! she was so impudent.

At night they both took their books home, without saying a word. Mr Pay & Jane Nelson were in yesterday, took tea to our house.

June 19th

Again my Cariad, am I going to pen a few thoughts to you.

I am succeeding well in my teaching, will close the fifth week to morrow. Have had part of the time three scholars, and part of the time six and seven. Have had no trouble of any amount, though three of the girls tried to raise a small rebellion yesterday. Only one of them are here to day, whether the little Pike girls have staid home on account of that or not I can not tell. They did not come yesterday for over half an hour after school commenced. I talked to them, and Carrie got spunky, so they tried to ugly and saucy the rest of the afternoon,

Carrie has done nicely so far to day. I am learning the scholars how to do addition, subtraction &c; I want to take them through the four.

I like the teaching part very much.

Wednesday, I attended the funeral of Augusta Trow, a young lady of 25, dearly beloved by all who knew for her gentleness, intelligence and modesty, but oh! she was not a Christian. The first break in that family of eight, four boys & four girls, and now the oldest of the girls, the darling sister is taken, after a sickness of two days cut down. It comes very hard on the family.

Hial made us a visit Wednes. eve. Went away early the next morn, so as to be in season at his work.

We all wrote to Father this morn. He will be 58 to morrow.

June 21st

O, Cariad, I think I must have the faculty of making the children hate me, some one of them gets mad at me every day and declares they will never come to school again, although they do come. I used to think children loved me, but here in my own district as teacher I do not get along very well.

Yesterday one of them started to run out of the schoolhouse, because I had her learn her lesson over, but catching hold of her as she passed, I held her wrist for 3/4 of an hour, then after praying with her, she studied her lesson, and went home, five min. of one.

July 2nd

I haven’t told you any of my experience since June 21st.

This week has been very pleasant till to day; the scholars have seemed to try to do as I wanted them to; but to day they have tried to do all they can to try me. Cora and Lilla had not been before this week nor part of last week, and I was in hopes she would try and do right to day, but she is so indolent, and full of fun or laugh, and I don’t know hardly what to make of her, she likes me and still she tries to bother me as much as she can and is so saucy, only between nine & ten too. Carrie B. was very trying this morn, after reading & prayer, when told to take her Arithmetic, she sat there “I can’t get it” “I can’t” was her plea, I explained them to her, but still she would not try, and then was provoked at me.

Cora and Lilla both gave me a boquet yesterday, and brought little Bertie up at noon. It has been very pleasant this week; is rainy this afternoon. Monday was very warm, and was closed in the afternoon by three terrible thunder showers, the lightening was very sharp and vivid, and the thunder was very heavy, a barn was struck at Mill Village, and the horse instantly killed, Mr George’s wife stunned and almost paralyzed, the barn & ell was burned but the main part saved. Mr B…d was at our house yesterday, he looks miserably, I shouldn’t have known him, he has been sick and had inflannnation of the eyes. Elmer is having a very hard time with his front teeth, ulcerating, his face is swollen very badly, I fear he will not enjoy the Fourth as much as expected.

O, Cariad, I have been in a regular ferment, for a few days to get my hair woven so I could wear a braid and perhaps frizzles or curls the Fourth instead of in my net so plain as I usually do, but I have got over it, and am going to just comb it smooth over my roll, you see I wanted to be like the others for once, and see what I could do but no it is best as it is, if I have the ornament of a meek & quiet spirit it is enoµgh, God grant I may.

July 6th Monday

Last Saturday, the “Fourth”, I went to the picnic in Mr. Boothe’s woods. Had a pleasant time, that is enjoyed it as well as I expected. Took care of little Allie part of the time, and had charge of cousin Alice. Elmer was over in the morning and said Ella wasn’t going to let Allie go to the picnic, that her intended (Mr. Farnsworth) has got her to keep Saturday for Sunday, and so as the Fourth came on Sat, she couldn’t come. I told Elmer to take Allie down and I would see to her, and he did, there were a good many there. H. & J. Nelson spent the evening with us. H. came first, and did not know J. was coming, & to tell the truth I do not think he was very glad to see him either. It seemed as though he wanted to day a word or two to me without the others hearing it, by his looks several times.

He came up from meeting with Oren last night. We had a very pleasant time singing Sarah & H & I. “O, Father can it be that Thou art about to give me the love of that noble heart?” it seemsalmost too good to be true, but I know he cares more about me than as a mere friend, by the look in his eyes last night as he turned to me sometimes in the conversation. Sarah & Nellie bothered me after he went away, about how wistful he looked as went out the door, & Sarah tried to make me go out to him, as he loitered in the entry a few seconds. Nellie said she expected every minute he would motion or tell me he’d like to see me a few moments, he looked so.

I did, I felt all the evening as [though] there was something he wanted to say, and as he stood in the door, hardly dared to raise my eyes to meet his and tell him “good bye,” for fear I should betray myself, for there was such a deep, bright look to his eyes, I feared mine would reflect the same. O, Father grant that out hearts may be drawn together & united in one, for I feel as though he is the one to help me through life to lead a higher Christian life, and mature into more perfect, noble womanhood.

Sarah spent the Fourth at Lempster, came home yesterday morning.

This is the commencement of the last week.

We held a prayer meeting in the school house last night; had a very good one.

July 16th

My school closed last Friday. All were there but Eldridge & Johnny. Mr. Emmerson was in also Aunt Mary.

Mrs. Em spoke middling well of the school, gave as much praise as I expected, the class in G-g did very well also Georgie Bartlett, all did passably.

It came kind of hard to bid farewell to them all, and think I should neve(r) again meet them as teacher & scholars. Some seemed rather sorry. Thurs. eve. before school closed I had them all come home with me; when after a bountiful repast we adjourned to the woods, in which Oren had put up a swing for us.

Georgie Bartlett & Nellie Powers were crowned “King & Queen.” (7 years old) I made two wreaths of vines & flowers for the head & two of maple leaves to pass over the shoulder, to the belt, lovely little sovereigns they made too. I got a black eye that night in running under Lilla swinging her.

Edie was with us & enjoyed it very much; the children all petted her, carried her “arm chair” style, picked berries for her &c & so on.

Monday Eve. Sarah, Elmer & I went out & had two good swings apiece. Sarah went to Oliver Parker’s Tues. forenoon. Mr P. is sick. Dr. Wheeler carried Sarah. We miss her much.

Elmer & I went to Mr. Adams’s last night to the Methodist meeting, they had quite a good meeting, all Christians present took part but three.

Hial was there, we merely spoke after meeting; he has not been here, neither had I seen him since 2 wks ago till last eve. He is troubled about something I think, by his prayer and a few words he said while speaking, what it is I do not know. Elmer also noticed it.

Can it be anything has come up to separate us, to bring a gulf between us, just as it seemed we were coming to a better understanding? O, it seems as though I couldn’t have it go on so any longer, in such suspense, waiting hoping & fearing. What is the lesson this is to teach, have I not learned it yet dear Father, that I must be tried still more. O, forgive me my Saviour, make me wholly thine, lead in the path of duty.

20th

The last time my Cariad, I shall write you from this little snuggery, probably for a good while, as Wednesday I expect to go to Mr Permorts to work; he came early this morning to hire me. I had to go to the door, with my wash suit on, which was pretty, inte(n)ding to & did wash it, my apron was two sewed together of not the same color. I dread going, for fear I shall not suit, but I will try to honor God by doing my best.

Last Sat. Nellie, Edie, & I visited Aunt Sarah Tandy. Sadie is home, came about two hrs, before we did, enjoyed it much.

I was intending to go to Newport, but May Parker and Sarah came, so we didn’t start early enough. Oren, Elmer & I went to meeting yesterday. Texts, “I have a great work to do, I cannot come down”, and, As Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the Son of Man &c, Sister Sadie & May Parker, & Hial Nelson and Elmer Tandy came home with us to tea, and went to the prayer meeting at the school house.

H. left his books here intending after meeting to stop a while, but John Cofran hectored him so, & George Crane & Elmer T. waited to the top of the hill, till Oren, R. & I got along, and asked him if he wasn’t going home with him (Elmer) that he did. I confess I felt considerably disappointed, for I thought we should have a pleasant visit after meeting, and after he had gone I picked up my things & carried to my room & had a little cry.

While Nellie & I were sitting on the door step, Nellie said “I think Hial is leaning this way a little more than is for his comfort.”

[“]Why?[“] I asked.

“You know dont you,? because he is I think with no more encouragement, & I dont want him disappointed.”

[“]I don’t either I am sure,[“] I said, and my head went down in her lap; it was a drop too much.

I could control myself no longer.

“What does that mean, has it come to this,” she asked in surprise, what would mother & Mina & Sarah say? “I don’t know it wouldn’t make any difference,” Elmer came then, besides Nellie wanted to think & talk it over with Oren. To day she told me the result, and questioned me some, she advised me not to get entangled now, said I had never been out amongst folks, and had better wait for true love, than yield to what might be a passing fancy; but when I told her, what you know already, my Cariad, that for more than six months I had known I loved him, you my Cariad, her surprise was great, and she said, “Wait cheerfully, and if its for the best all will come right.” Then with a touch of pity in her tone, “and you have [fudged (?)] along, bearing that, that explains why you have not acted natural this winter, (and at my glance of inquiry) I thought you wasn’t as pleasant as you used to be quite, but allowance can be made now.[“]

We have had quite a talk, & to night Nellie sung & repeated some verses to help me trustingly bear the cross. Elmer, Nellie says, guessed my secret some time ago, so Oren told her to day; but he has never showed it, and has acted like my own little gentleman brother that he is.

I think I am learning the lesson of trust in God, partially, & desire to more.

Nellie hadn’t once mistrusted till within a very short time.

Recipe note: C. T.

7-26A

7-26B to July 28th

7-26C to Aug 23.

7-26D to Sept 11th or Oct 12?

7-26E to Oct. 18th

7-16F to Nov. 2nd

7-26G to “Letters”

7-16H to Apr. 26, 1875

7-26I to Nov 9th

7-26J END.

Thurs 23 Lempster

You see my date is changed. I came here to Mr. Purmorts yesterday, though seems ever so much longer. I like pretty well. Mrs. P. is very fussy about some things floors &c, but not quite particular enough about others, she’s awful peevish looking. This forenoon till after dinner, and dinner things cleared off I was so homesick I could hardly keep from crying, when thoughts of home came to my mind, and when Mrs. P. handed me a letter from Mina this morn I could hardly control myself till I got out of the room. Afternoon, went raspberrying and got better.

I wish everybody didn’t know about father, but no, the story has to be told by somebody, wherever one of us go! I made a cake to day from this recipe,

Cake. 1 cup sugar, butter size of an egg, stir together 1 egg (beat all), nutmeg, cinnamon, 1 cup sweet milk, 1 large teaspoon C.T. 1 small teaspoon soda. C. T. & Soda rubbed in flour. Thick as cupcake.

July 28th

I feel very tired to night. This morn, got up, prepared breakfast, cleared away dishes, strained milk, set the curd, moulded four loaves of bread, wiped dishes (Myra washed them), ironed, cut three curds, made the cheese, got dinner, dishes, chamber work, swept, washed cheese things, went raspberrying three hrs. got five qts. finished getting supper dishes, milk, sprinkled clothes, did potatoes, pails, & fixed fish for break(fast).

My stomach has troubled me to day good deal. I have drank too much water I guess, and then the victuals are so much richer (too rich) my stomach will not bear it, as it is rather weak any way. Everything has so much butter I do not like it, butter & sugar, by the quantity (large).

Yesterday picked six qts of raspberries, I have picked now 16 qts. for Mrs P.-t. I wish I was home picking them for Nellie. I went home last Saturday eve., Sunday went to meeting, took tea Oren, Sarah & I at Mrs. Nelson’s, Hial invited us. I promised Mrs Purmort to be at Uncle Wms if they should come for me, but they urged me so & He said he would go & tell Uncle’s folks where I was so I went & enjoyed myself too. Hope is not all dead, but a faint trust that all will be right sometime. I love to see those grey eyes grow dark with suppressed feeling, as I have seen them.

O. Father help me to trust in Thee.

Aug 5th

Here are some more recipes.

Cream Cookies. 1 egg, 1-1/2 cup sugar, 1 cup cream, nutmeg, saleraties, a little salt, about 3 cups flour, roll very soft.

Cream Cake. 1 egg, 1 cup sugar, 2/3 cup cream fill up with sweet milk, nutmeg, soda, flour.

I went home last Saturday, staid till Sunday eve. Sarah also came & we had a very pleasant time. Thank God for our blessed home. Oren put up a swing in the orchard & we all went out and had a good time. Oren, Nellie & all. Sunday the 2nd was the 15th anniversary of their wedding.

Aug 19th

I am home again, and oh! how good it seems to once more be in my own loved home. I came home last night, am not going back, but stay home till school commences at Newport.

Mrs. Purmort and family seemed sorry to part with me, especially young Mrs. Purmort. I like her very much, and we got considerably attached to one another, the tears came in Myra’s eyes, as throwing one arm on my shoulder, and with the other clasping my hand in hers, she talked a moment and bid me good bye; she said it was hard to part with me, I am she will have to work too hard this fall. Oren & Nellie have started for Marlow, will be gone over night, so Elmer & I will be alone.

I have carried the box holding Oren’s papers up stairs into my room, so they will be safe. Sarah is coming home Saturday Eve.

Aug 23

Again tis Sunday eve, and I am seated in my own room.

I have been to meeting. Mr. Pay preached from “And to do good and communicate forget not,” it was excellent; afternoon was concert. Sarah and I have both been home this last week. Wednesday we went to Newport, since then Sarah has been busy making her dress.

I have done the housework, or Sarah & I, for she has helped.

Nellie was very sick a week ago, while visiting at Uncle Jacobs.

Mr. Blanchard came to see Sadie last evening went home this afternoon. No one had known outside of the family for certain, that anyone was going with her till last evening; Hial came just before Mr. B—— did. Sarah thought then her secret was out.

Oren spoke to him to day to request him to say nothing about it, he said he hadn’t, nor didn t intend to, he discovered it by accident, and it would remain a secret with him, no one knew where he went, so no questions were asked to call it up. It showed his honor I think as a gentleman & Christian.

Sept 11th

I know I have made you wait a I long time but I have been very, very busy. Sarah and I have been washing to day, making a cover & cushion for our arm chair, to carry to Newport next Monday. A week ago to day Sarah and I washed expecting to go to school this week, but we received a postal card from Dr. Brown stating school would not commence, so Sarah & I went to Langdon to see mother Monday & came back Wednesday. It took seven hours to come 19 miles, we went on Dolly colties account. Took Mrs Stowe[‘]s “My Wife & I” to read on the way. Had a very pleasant time indeed. Ida is real cunning.

Mr. Barnum the evangelist came yesterday. Elmer & I walked over to meeting but heard no preacher, neither did I last night.

Yesterday afternoon, during the meeting Mr. Pay invited him to say a few words to us, but Mr. Barnum acted as though he didn’t hear, and said not a word; last night he came into meeting, sat awhile and then left; just as he left as he went past the singer seat where three or four boys were sitting, and one was lying down and said, “Seems to me you’re rather rough”, and went out , and did not come back, neither could Mr. Pay or Oren prevail on him to come back, and to day he has gone back to Boston to Tremont Temple, where he came from.

Cousin Sadie Tandy was married yesterday, Sept 10th to Charlie Putney, and to night we have been eating some of her wedding cake.

Newport October 2 (?)

You poor old journal, if you were alive you would be out of patience with me I know, & I shouldn’t blame you one mite. I am here at Newport now. Sarah and I are attending school here, three weeks of school closed with to day, it hardly seems possible so much time has passed.

Mr. Ger. R. Brown is the Principal & Mrs. Kimball Assistant. Sarah & I study together Algebra, Greene’s Analysis, & Philosophy, also Reading & spelling, in addition I take “History of the U.S” & recite in Physiology to Dr. Brown, & take lessons on training of the voice of his wife. We room at Dr. Browns & board ourselves.

Mrs. Brown cooks our potatoes and sets on plates for us, so we only eat our suppers of bread & milk up stairs.

The Dr. & his wife are very kind & we enjoy ourselves very much, and are studying as hard as we can. I get up at 6-1/2 in the morn & study my Physiology.

We like some of the girls very much, there are 50 scholars. We went to meeting at the Baptist church a week ago last Sunday, & to prayer meeting last eve. There were only 8 there beside us, almost a dull meeting, not so good as the Thurs. eve. meetings of our little band at Goshen.

We went home a week ago to night, do not expect to go till a week from to night. I am not satisfied about some things now. O when will the way be marked out clear, all doubts removed, & way made plain, my faith is sometimes tried, but God knows best.

Sun. 18th

To night is the first anniversary of dear Grandpa in Heaven; one year ago to night he passed away from earth, how as twilight gathered we watched him, as his breath came fainter & fainter, till it ceased and his Spirit had flown to its Heavenly home, sweetly as a babe falls asleep, did that darling one pass away, as I sit here thinking of that day, and the time since, my heart asks how has that year been spent, if at any time the summons for me had come, should I have met that loved one on the other shore? How much good have I done, how faithfully served my God? Help me my God to live nearer to Thee, to spend more time in communion with Thee.

Oct. 27th

Sarah & I came up this morn, staid yesterday to help Oren pick apples, we enjoyed it very much, though got pretty tired, and to day are very lame. We acted decidedly dignified, as became young ladies, climbing into the tops of apple trees and so on.

Washed and ironed & baked last Saturday. Cousins Eddie & May Tandy (Uncle Lorenzo’s two youngest from Mass.) spent the eve. and Friday night with us. I like them very much. I wish Eddie lived where Elmer could have his company, for there is no boy for him to associate with, that is pure & true.

Uncle Lorenzo preached Sun.

Had a letter from Annie Richards to day, it sounds like the same pure, noble, Christian Annie. Thank God for such a friend. I had quite a mental battle to night, it was on this account.

Since I was at Mrs P’s and here attending school I have neglected my hour of prayer, Annies’ & my mutual hour at 7-1/2 o’clock in Eve. only observing it now & then, to night I resolved God helping me to start again, as the hands reached half past and a few minutes before, the struggle begun, could I, should I leave my lesson & kneel before my God here in the room with Sarah, at last I conquered, and rising kneeled at the side of the bed, and prayed to my God, and was strengthened.

Nov 2nd

Oren came up Friday, but it was so late before he was ready to start for home we should not get home till very late, about midnight we thought we wouldn’t go. Yesterday went to meeting. Mr. Leavitts sermon was on, “Lovest thou me more than these”, twas a sermon to set.

April 15th 1874

I have been reckoning up my expenses for this year and this is what I get, spite of all my efforts I can not make the sum less, and go to school, and I must go and will.

Summer

• print dress 15 yds $3.00, $3.34 22 yds.
• hat trimmings 1.00 hat 3.00 parasol
• haker, stock &c 1,00 1,01
• aprons .50 .77 & Edie’s dress
• collars,paper, giving ribbon, 2.00 3.61
• mending shoes 1.00 .45

(insert line – 2 columns)

$11.00 13.13 [ 87 = $13,50

Fall School expense

• Tuition $5.00
• books &c 6.00
• rent 3.00
• oil . 50
• crackers,rice 2.00

(line)

• cultivation voice 8.00

(line)

$24.50

4.00

(line)

20.50

Fall and Winter

• print dress, cutting &c $3.00
• sapp ” ” “” 3.75
• second best ” ” ” 7.0
• 2 pr shoes, at $2.75 pr. 5.50
• hat 3.00
• flannel 4 yds. 2.00
• gloves .50
• extras, giving 1.00

(line)

$26.25

Summer, $11.00

School 24.50

Fall and winter 26.25

Natural His. 7.50

(line)

$69.25

________________________________________________________________________________________

8.00 due bill $3.50 per wk.

5.00 Lorenzo Co. 8

6.50 Oren

(line)

$19.50

28.00 69.25

(line) 47.50

(line)

$21.75 to be taken from 1873. $85

Money to defray expenses.

Letters (left column)

Answered

• Mri 18th Annie Richards
• Emma Hatch Feb 23th
• Father March 22th
• Mother March 29th
• Sarah March 31st
• Eva Marshall April 20th
• Sarah Farr ” 2?rd
• Viola Young ” 29th
• Mina Dow ” 30th
• Sarah F. May 23rd
• Sarah Farr June 8th
• Lelia Hatch ” 16th
• Annie Richards June 19
• Father ” ” “
• Father August 8th
• Eva Marshall Sept. 18th
• Annie Richards ” ” “
• Mina Dow Sept. 29th
• Mina Nov. 9th

Received (right column, line in middle)

• Anie Richards, Feb?
• Eva Marshall
• Mina Dow, April 5th
• Sarah Farr, ” 19th
• Lelia Hatch ” 22nd
• Viola Young “21th
• Annie Richards — 1st
• Sarah Farr May 15th
• Sarah Farr June 8th
• Father July 9th
• Mina July 21st
• Annie Richardson Aug
• Eva Marshall
• Emma Hatch Oct 20
• Sister Mina 22nd Oct
• Annie Richards 27

Apr. 25th 1875

Nellie & I were laughing to night at each other, because our clothes were all sugar. I told her she must write a poem on sugar. so here the two are, a verse apiece.

The ________ was falling fast

When through a dirty room there passed,

A girl who bore mid dirt and pies,

An apron with this strange device,

O, sugar.

Sweet April days are hastening on,

We can not think they’re almost gone,

For sap and dirt have reigned supreme

And still they linger in my dream.

Last winter she wrote two of several verses apiece which were first rate.

(the following pages seem to be continued from a previous entry — either pages were skipped or are missing —  probably from tearing out some of the pages near the front of the book.

… one thinking. He described the different ways of obedience, through love, fear, and others doing just enough they think to gain Heaven.

But such he feared would be those to knock at the gates of Heaven saying “Lord, Lord” to whom the Lord would say depart;

Instead of saying how much must I do, we should say how much can I do for thee.

In the afternoon, was communion, sweet and solemn was the season of heart searching.

Between afternoon meeting and eve. lecture, we read aloud, “The Veil on the Heart”.

Evening attended Mr. Abbotts lecture on “Ideas of Life”, it was very good, one thing in speaking of higher “ideas of life”, he said although we might not “be able to write poetry we could live it, though not artists, we could be artists in our everyday life,” seeking to perfect ourselves, making our lives more like our model.

In the Scripture lesson read, the 3rd verse struck me it is this, “You ye are dead and your life is with Christ in God“; these words struck me, and I heard no more of the reading or prayer which followed; and —